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for valentines day my ex bf gave a dozen flowers. 10 were red carnations and two were red roses. i thought it was really sweeet and after the carnations died, i sprayed the roses with hair spray and pressed them in a book. then in like may i took them out of the book and put them in a bag and then in a little candy box he had also gave me. the box was under my bed and m current bf found it yesterday. he said it was really weird that i saved it from my ex, but i told him that it was the first roses any one had ever given me and that i wanted to save them, b/c it was sweet, not b/c of who it was from. but he still got mad, how do i convince him that my ex means nothing, the flowers are just flowers. please help.

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It has always been hard for me to get rid of things that I was given by past loves. I don't keep them because I still want to be with them but because I feel like they were part of my life. I have also been on the flip side of that, and learned to see in others what I see in myself, that it does not reflect the feelings I have for them or them for me. That said, this looks like a matter of trust vs. sensitivity. His would be the trust he has in what you are telling him and trust in the relationship and yours would be the sensitivity for his feelings you are will to give.

Depending on how serious this relationship is and wether you would regret, now and in the future (if this didn't work out), the most simple thing to convince him would be to throw them out, let him see you did so. If, on the other hand, you do feel that they are important enough for you to keep than you should discuss it with him. In a constructive way try to show, and explain to him, that the flowers have nothing to do with how you feel about him and what you don't feel for you ex. Explain to him that they are important to you as they were your first. Calmly talk it out and leave it in a way that he feels good about having you keep them.

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I tend to see it the same way as atlas does. These flowers are not just flowers, the roses have an emotional value otherwise you would not keep them. Maybe your current bf was made uncomfortable because you kept them close to you under your bed. (Just a question though -do you still keep contact with your ex? I read your other posts and I see that you might not be over another ex...)


I would explain to your current boyfriend that you want to keep the roses as they were your first, but you're not keeping them to constantly remind yourself of the past (his part of trust in you). Since you don't need to have them near you, put the box at the back of the top shelf of a kitchen cupboard behind the plates you never use anyways. Don't look at them anymore and don't mention them to your bf (your part of sensitivity). I'm telling you, in ten years you are going to throw them out anyways because you will have other roses that have so much more value!

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