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I just need someone else to talk to, and a second chance

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Someone please read this be patient its loooong

I met her in the 6th grade but starting in the 8th grade we started talking a lot more. My friends had told me that I shoul go out wit her, but I was not interested at all, mostly because of our friendshio and also becuase lots of people made fun of her because her breasts were not as big as the other girls. I guess I was an idiot back then, she was always hugging and holding me wherever we would go and I tried my best to keep our relationship one of freidns and nothing more. THis continued until 9th grade, there was this formal dance whre the girls invited the guys, she asked me but i said no because of family reasons. She did not look any further for another date. Well there was a blizzard and the dance got cancelled, it was the next week, i didnt really care because i was not going. The night before the dance i realized how much i would of wanted to go, but it was too late because she never got a dress, or payed for tickets and i never got a tuxedo. We talked for hours the night of the dance at home on AIM but i never mentioned how i felt. I still never have. Well the past summer (9th to 10th grade) we hung out a lot, i noticed i liked her a lot, but i was not so sure about her likeing me. Calling her up became very hard because i was scared of saying something sutpid to make her like me even less. Eventually i stopped calling altogether, probably because i started hanging out wit a different crowd, doing different things, but one night at a corner there were a lot of people, we were all talking and after 30 minutes or so, i saw her walking away and i thought to myslef why she would not say hi once during that past time. I hadnt seen her at all, i called her out and she immediately turned around and walked towards me where we talked a bit, wut surpirsed me most about that conversation is after that, she left her friends and started following me around with my friends. After about an hour that night, she said she had to go down the street to meet up with another friend but that she was scared of some guy saying something rude to her, and she asked me to join her, i said sure and i did. We ended up not finding her friend and just walking around talking about things laughing having a good time. She asked me to walk her home after that and I did, where she hugged me for the last time for a while.

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After that about 2 days later, she started asking me who i liked or had a crush on, i was too scared to tell her it was her so i never did, she finally asked, "what wud u say if i said i liked u?" i replied "wut wud u say if i said i liked u?" she told me she would tell me that she liked me as well. My first big mistake came right after that, i told her i didn't know if it would work out because we were friends. She said ok, but i told her there was a chance, a good chance. She called me the next night to go over a frends house, and i did, we didnt talk much, but when we did it was as if we never had that conversation the night before. Well that night i told her i liked her too, and she seemed really happy, for some reason i found it better the next day to go smoke weed with my friends ten hagn out with her. So i did, but walking into one of her friends we ended up walking by her house and telling her to come out. She completely ignored me, and i mentioned it to her later on AIM. She said she was sorry. THe next day school started and we barely ever talked in the hallways, but i never talk to anyone in the hallways anyway. Sooo, nothing happened, except her complaints about my behavior. At first it was me not talking to her, so i started talking, the next week i was not being affectionate, and not caring enought to call her at nights. We never could hang out mostly because my football team practice was so demanding and time consuming, one night she called me though, asking me to that same dance she asked me to the year before, i said yes immediately.

So one night we planned to just have a night out by ourselves, and we did, we went to a friends house, where ther was a fight, and we bothe left to go for a walk. we wlaked arm in arm most of that time, and i gave her my football jacket, she seemed really happy, and even though nothing big happened, her happiness was enough to make my day. She hugged me for the first time in months. The next week, we hung out again, and we drank a little, she was siting on my lap the whole time, after a whole lot of people left, we went upstairs, and lied in bed talking, holding hands, we were like 2 inches away from eash other, i know i should of kissed her and that might of changed things, but i didnt, expecting her to do something for once. but nothing happened, after about 2 hours, the girl whose house we were in found us in her bed and said i had to leave soon because her parents would be coming home soon, she was sleeping over so it really didnt matter how long she stayed, my mom picked me up that night and i was happy. When i got home she Text messged me several times abouit how she wishes we would of kissed. Well i could already see the next weekend. However, that week things changed, I went to the doctor who told me I had to go back on ritalin for my ADD, i had taken ritalin since 4th grade until 7th, well this week i had to start again, i became overly depressed thinking too much about her, and too much about many things. On Thursday night, i talked to her about it, it seemed i had a breakdown of some sort, i was almost crying telling her about my ADD and all that, She had already known i had ADD, but had never known all i was telling her. Frankly that day i did not feel like admitting i had a mental illness... and i never will. Shes said many times that she has it as well, but its not proven. Anyway... it felt really good to talk to her that day, but i started to think after that i left a wrong impression on her and might of made her lose interst in me, but i wasnt thinking clearly most of that day because of the medicne. I talked to her best friend soon after, who told me she really really regretted not hooking up with me last firday, and that i should go try to hook up with her and that it would make her very very happy. So i planned to hook up with her, which would be easy now that i knew she wanted to as well, then ask her out Well came

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never break plans with anyone, friend, girlfriend, anyone to go smoke. If I were her that would have been enough for me to not speak to you again.


It sounds like she really likes you but has her head on her shoulders a bit more than you do. You need to figure out what you really want, and if what you want is something with her then both of you need to talk about it, and wether you wanna take it slow or whatever it is you both want. She sounds like a very sweet girl..


Don't ever let your friends influence you on what kind of girl to like. Especially because a girl didnt develop fast enough. Because it sounds like this girls personality developed a lot earlier than your friends.


But anyways I think you have realized that by now. Hey if she likes you and you respect her and have feelings for her you two should bring it up. Talk about it, and I wish you two the best of luck.


ADD is not something to be ashamed of. So please dont be depressed over it. I have some anxiety problems. I could dwell on them, and think I have no control. But its just somethings people have to deal with in life and it shows how strong you are when dealing with them.


Best wishes!

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Sorry but the storys sooo long and i cant manage to post it all at once this is the last part.

Well came Friday, i talked to her after school... in person, about absolutely nothing, pointless little conversations but seeing her smile and hearing her voice would make my day soooo much better. I went to lift weights then came home and signed on AIM, she was on, and i IM her (note- she had not initiated a conversation on AIM in almost a week, where she would normally IM me the minute she signed on) so we talked, and i asked her if she was going to the basketball game, she said she didn't know, well i went, i saw her arrive there later, and then we talked a bit, then the game ended and i guess i automatically guessed we were hanging out, so we walked with a giant crowd, in which she would only talk to a friend and we'd talk occasionally, we stayed in front of a restaurant for about an hour before she told me she had to go. I asked where, she told me to some kids house with all of her friends, I knew right there and then something was wrong. For the past 3 years, she had never answered the question "where are u going" without a "come" or "do u want to come" she then said "what r u guys doing" i said, " i don't know, i thought i wasn't hanging out with you, your always complaining about how we can never hang out, but i guess u don't want to" so she told me it wasn't true, and said bye and walked away. My friend told me to call her later, and i did, even though i didn't think i should of. She seemed shy, and she told me that she didn't know where she was and that she wasn't going to that kids house, but just walking around and that she would call me back in 5 minutes. She never did, i ran into another girl and i vented out all my anger by telling her the story, i just went to this girl's house and talked some more. I walked home instead of getting a ride in order to walk off the anger that was slowly becoming sadness. When i got home, her best friend told me that the girl i liked was being stupid and unreasonable, not doing what she wanted to do, i agreed, yet was surprised to see this girl who constantly yells at me for hurting her friends feelings, joining my side and attacking her best friend. 5 minutes later she signed on, telling me she is sorry for avoiding me tonight, and that she liked our relationship before we knew how we felt about each other. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would at first, but after she left, I just started to cry and went to sleep, I woke up this morning needing to talk to someone. THE END

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im sorry she doesnt know what she wants and rather not explore something else with you. She is only 15 and that is pretty normal for a girl to not know. 14-18 are some of the most confusing hardest years a girl goes through. Try to keep busy so you dont think so much of her, hey this is the first fo heart aches you will have to go through. It sucks I know, but yeah these things happen and we just have to learn how to deal with them. Go work out, go out with friends, stay away from pot, drinkling all that causes depression to worsen.

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Everyone I have spoken to about it is telling me shes confused, and that she doesn't know what she wants, and never will. My brother (17 today) was telling me I should start looking around at other girls, but not before the dance (its in 3 weeks) and that I shouldn't talk to her as much as I did before (not speak unless spoken to, and then still speak only a little) He says if she really is interested she will get jealous, or worried and start talking more and if shes interested, rethink her decision and if I'm willing I would take her back. What do you think?

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sometimes people dont know what they have til its gone. i say you can try and get that approach. if she doesnt care then she definitely doesnt like you. and if she does and you like her enough to take her back thats awesome. but dont ever let her know that u did that to try to get her attention

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i must say im feeling a lot better, i decided to stay home tonight, not because im scared of runnin into her, i just dont fell like i owuld have much fun doing anythinh because i had devoted so much time to her, i did go to my friends house earlier, he told me that friday night she told him that she was looking forward to hooking up later that night. He found out about the whole tihng because his girlfriend is friends wit the girl i like. I was thinking, is he lying to me so that ill feel there still a chance, or did she really say that? if she did isnt that even more proof that she migh still like me?

Also last night (friday) she told me that she only said she wanted to hook up with me the week before because she was drunk, another friend told me that what someone does when there drinking, is what they think about doing when there sober. I know this is true for me, i wouldnt be able to recall very well because since i met her ive stopped smoking completely and i only drink if she does which is rarely (last week was her first time this year since august) and it was my first time since around mid-september. I would really love to believe that shes lying, that she is telling me these things so I will try harder on this relationship even though it seems like she completely gave up. I knew it would be hard to start a relatoinship with someone so close but i took the risk, and im stillw illing to change even more than i already have to make her happier

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the later it gets the more i miss her, its only been one day and I feel like shes gone forever, I need some help, my friends all tell me shell be back in a week or 2 and shes just worried that i am not committed, but she found out how much I liked her the night she told me she wanted to stay as friends, and she said she never knew i liked her that much...... I need her to changer her mind but I dont want to look like a stalker if she really wants to call it quits. I dont get much advice at home so i really really need someone to talk to about this, like either here, or on aim, if someone wants to talk please help me out, thanks

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