This anoligy clicked for me.

[El3216]

We as dumpee's are kind of in the same boat as a man or women in prison.

 

People that go to prison can see everything they did in the last and realize what they did wrong. They can even change and become a Better person! Have a new outlook on life and really make a difference.

 

The problem is they are in there for a reason. As an adult they have to pay for their crimes and actions. One day may come when they get a second chance but until then they are forced to make peace with their actions and live their life.

 

This ties to out relationships like this:

 

I was with my ex for nearly 3 years. We got passed the honey moon stage and things got harder. I got comfortable and complacent and lost my self confidence. We stopped going out as much, with out even realizing it I was making her fall out of love with me and we became roommates with no romance. I caught the problem to late and now she is gone.

 

I now how to accept what's happening to me. I know what I did wrong! I know how to fix it and I know I could be the best boyfriend she's ever had. But it doesn't matter now because I'm in prison and have to pay for my crimes.

 

I am going to continue my self improvement and empower myself to be stronger then ever before. I won't feel like I'm in prison for ever and I won't try to get her back. I have spent enough to time reading and researching to know that if a recon is going to happen its going to be because I got over the old relationship and she wanted to start a new one.

 

I don't plan on waiting around because it seems to be a very u likely scenario based on what I've seen around here.

[Live-N-Learn]

I think your connection between the two is pretty good. Did she ever talk to you about the lack of romance and complacency? Or did she keep quite expecting you to know and just check out. If she did not tell you how she was feeling, then you are both to blame for the failure of the relationship.

[El3216]

I was ironically the one who was upset about the lack of intamacy. During the relationship I would get sexually frustrated with her. She always said "I don't know what's wrong me" bla bla in reality I now knownwhatbthe problem was. It was me. Lol

 

I lost my mojo. I gained weight ( this wasn't the sole reason she stopped wanting to be intimate) it was the fact that I gained weight and complained about it.. Then NEVER stuck to my commitment to lose the weight.

 

I was 190 when we started dating and 240 when we broke in feb. I am down to 214 today

 

I believe she resented me for not fixing my problems and became un-attracted to me because of that. Do I know for sure? Nope. But it makes alot more sense to me then " I don't know what's wrong with me"

[dreamstate83]

It's only a prison until you realize that the bars are only in your mind.