Things got MORE COMPLICATED!!

[sunflower]

Hey...

I posted "e wants ME back" and "He changed his mind"

I saw him again last night. And he told me he really ***ed up. He said that when he changed his mind he got suddenly really scared. And I asked why. And he said hes not ready to be serious. And I said what is serious to him. And he didnt like the idea we were too dependant on eachother--he wants more independance. We used to ditch others plans if one couldnt go--that type of thing--he thinks we should just go and not worry about the other not going.

He feels this should be the last tme we can try and if it doesnt work we can get some closure. Also I am going to London at the end of this yr...I wanted to explore my options...if I stay with him I'm obviously not going to. I am highly confused. I mean sometimes I want him back and sometimes I dont.

He promised me he is going to treat me like a princess--hes in the process of getting his act together--and no more lying, most of all.

He thinks its best we dont tell anyone--go for a month or so this way and see what happens before we do.

We kissed last night and I felt more confusion than passion....is that normal? When we broke up the first time and we got back together we kissed and it was INCREDIBLE. But this time it was different. He got really scared and emotional when I told him I needed tot hink about it.

The problem is when I think he is not interested it draws me to him more--when I know he wants me back so bad--I get scared. Whats wrong with me? Also the fact hes been changing his mind shows me he is highyl confused as well.

But last night he kept saying how happy he was because he is not confused anymore and he knows what he wants and it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders...I hope he means that.

I dont wanna hurt him, I want to be with him, Im just scared of what everyone will think (my family and frineds are against it) and Im scared of getting seriously hurt again.

I really really need advice...help This is the most confusing/scariest thing Ive ever had to go through...

[Australia]

Hi

 

I'm sorry to hear of your sad news Please don't be despair over this matter as it is quite usual to react in this way during this period of time.

 

As I don't know the whole situation between you and him, I recommend that you talk to him and try to understand why he is treating you like this. Tell him to be honest with everything, including cheating you etc...

 

Maybe he does need more space, including yourself. Why don't both of you agree to be apart from this relationship for several weeks and try not to see each others during this period. See how this go.

 

During this period, both of you may know whether is worth continuing this relationship any longer. If him doesn't want to continue with it, then let him go and enjoy his space. As for you, it may sound a bad news, but allow yourself some time to grief during this period.

 

Eventunately, you will find that it isn't worth in keeping this relationship any longer, especially it is you that wanting the relationship to continue. Don't contact him and just enjoy the things you do to keep you busy. Don't try to get into another relationship just to make him jealous, as you need to learn how to be more dependent and love yourself first, before you can care for another person.

 

In all cases, be strong and take my advice and don't make any contact with him, unless he want to meet you for a chat about the relationship.

 

Cheers and good luck!!!

 

Australia.

[SwingFox]

Hi Sunflower,

 

Thank you for your update and coming back to eNotalone.com. I am sorry to hear that you're still confused. I understand that you are going to give each other one more last go.

 

I would suggest you that you just sit back and go by the flow and see where things lead to. At least he is not lying anymore (is what he says). I find that a BIG plus. I hate lying and secrecy. Give it a month or two. I wouldn't plan anything definite right now. As you said, you're going to London, too, so that's good (passing by Amsterdam, The Netherlands?? *grins*).

 

I hope that in time you will find what you were looking for, wether that means that you're together or not. Wishing you strength and happiness

 

~ SwingFox ~

[sunflower]

Thanks soooo much.

I think thats what Im gonna tell him tonight....just to go with the flow--which is basically what he wants too....

but going sloooow would be a better thing...I mean he kissed me right after he told me this and it was sooooooooooooo weird not being with thim for a month and a half--trying to get over him--realizing all his bad habits and then BAM hes there again and Im like WHAT??

Hes saying all the things I wanna hear--but once again Im gonna wait--he can change his mind any second. Like he did before...

Or I can? Who knows...I just dont wanna get hurt and feel like I am wastng my time.

Thanks guys for the advice

And I am going to belgium--Amsterdam I am still debating

[Crushed]

I think they already said it best, but take it slow, guard you feeling as if your not carefull you may fall totally in love with him again. But communication is the key.

 

I wish you all the best of luck

[sunflower]

Hey thansk guys for the advice...

I still am thinking about things--I told him I needed to.

Tell me what you think:

Sometimes I think

-Man were both young lets just have fun and go wit it and see where it leads us. If it doesnt work THIS TME at least we can have closure in giving it our best shot.

Or,

-What if I start to lose interest and I hurt him or vice versa?

Are these things I shouldnt be thinking about? Are they just typical worries of a relationship?

 

I asked him yesterday if he wants to be with me I gotta see some progress in his lifestyle...meaning Ive gotta see him getting his act together. He said hes making a regular salary now, and trying to pursue his music career. And I said ok...well I wanna know that if your gonna make promises like taking me out for dinner and then last minute u cant cuz u have no money then I dunno....and he said no more of that.

 

He kissed me the other night when he asked me all this and I felt more confused than passionate.....It was at an odd-shocking time--but I still cant help but wonder--does it mean Im not into him as much anymore? Or I was just shocked and wasnt sure of my decision?

Ugh what do you guys think....