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trial?? separation advice

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my gf of nearly seven years recentley said that our relationship had turned into just a friendship, though we both love each other, she can only love me as a close friend at the moment. We both agreed to try to work it out, but she could not get comfortable or the feelings back in such a short space of time. The past three weeks have been a very emotional time, with mood swings from both us that you would not believe, but we have not had any blazing rows about it, something we have never done in our relationship. We both work hard long hours, me some early days and day work, my gf day and some nights, so at time we only cross paths in the morning and late at night and this is the reasoning as to where we are at that the last 6/8 months the relationship has gone to a friendship, with a lot of the affection missing. In regards to the current we always end up talking but end up in circles going nowhere. Just yesterday she has moved out for awhile/or for ever?, depending on how her feelings react. She says she wants them back but they are just not there at present. So the women I love so dearly is not here at the moment, i'm up and down like a yo-yo. After reading this forum I know I cannot smother her, or keep contacting her, i need to giver her space. What other things should I do or nor do, would a bite of lunch once a week be to forthcoming, judged on the fact that she has said I can drop around and see her. I'm doing it tough but any support help would be great.

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Hi kirby,


First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that the sparkle isn't there anymore. I understand that you feel pretty down over it.


Love is a dynamic thing. It has always to be worked on and nothing goes automatically. Getting the feeling back, means spending time together. That's what you also did when you started of dating. I am sure how both of you remember how much you wanted to be around each other and do things. Could it be possible that both of you have taken things for granted. I believe that the answer of your question lies somewhere in that field.


I hope that this was some sort of help for you and I wish you good luck and strength. I hope that you guys will end up together again.


~ SwingFox ~

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taking things for granted is correct, but in the present situation rushing in and trying to fix it in quick time may be fraught with danger. Do I need to keep my distance and contact and let her have her space and and the same time try to go out for the occasional lunch or movie etc.

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  • 2 weeks later...

it's 2 weeks on and not much has changed, we still talk, get upset because we are at different positions. I've now stepped right back and have given her all the space she wants, but this cannot be all I can do surely. any advice would be appreciated. She says she still loves and cares for me but just not in an intimate way.

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