Amy Lee Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 My boyfriend just admitted that he cheated on me.. i was really upset and asked him if he loved me.. he said yes.. the girl was there behind him and he swore at her so i dont think theyre together anymore... should i go back to him? I love him so much... Link to comment
Silvi Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 personaly i wouldnt, but you say you love him, it depends on how much it hurt you. i dont think its somthing that we or atleast i can help you with too much cos only you know how much you love him, how your relationship works and if it will be able to work after this. you need to think long and hard before you decide, i cant say anything for sure, its your decision...... hope something i said helps, good luck... Link to comment
Meisje Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Amy Lee, I'm sorry that you are going through this, I know it's very hard because I am going through it too. In September my boyfriend confessed that he had cheated on me. Like you said, I still loved him very much and we have been trying to work through it ever since. It has been VERY hard for us to work though it, and even after 2 months of work we still have problems, so I'll give you that warning. You need to give a little more information to fill out the picture: who was this girl, did you know her? How/why did he tell you, did you find him out or did he confess on his own? How long was this going on for before you found out? etc. Give a little more information and maybe it will help you sort out some thoughts. I know it's probably very hard to compose yourself and think straight, but if you would like to message me, feel free. We are going through the same sort of thing, so maybe we can help eachother out. Link to comment
Berry619 Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I am going through the exact same thing. I know how you feel. It is so confusing and painful. I feel betrayed and disrespected. That is why I also feel stupid for still loving him and staying with him. I keep asking myself how I could still love someone who hurt me so deeply. Right now, I have forgiven him and we are trying to move on, but a part of me still needs answers. I almost feel bad about bringing this up again, but oh well; he shouldn't have done this to me. I shouldn't be trying to make this easier on him anyways. The only thing that keeps me going throughout the day is the fact that everyone makes mistakes. Also, I keep telling myself that I am not the victim. It was his stupid mistake that caused this; he did it to the relationship and himself, not me. I just need to feel better. I'm so confused and hurt. Can anyone offer help/solace/advice??? Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 No you shouldnt go back to him. Human beings are creatures of habit, once a cheater, always a cheater. You will never look at him the same now that he has cheated anyways. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want to risk anymore of your time and especially your health on someone who goes and dips his wick in another girls flame? My advice is to move on and find someone who will treat you right. Link to comment
Meisje Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Berry, and Amy Lee, Here is what I have posted about my story, feel free to read through it and see if any of it helps you understand some things... or at least know that others are going through the same thing. And like I said before, (either of you) feel free to message me about it. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 if my boyfriend cheated on me i could NEVER EVER stay with him. i love him more than words could ever describe and I want to spend the rest fo my life with him. but if he cheated on me, even if it killed me I would walk away. I am worth more than that, and if he gave a damn about me ever he would have had the decency to walk stop it. The fact that he was able to forget about you completely and go off with this other woman behind your back is so wrong. And now he comes off to make his guilt go away by telling you. HA! We all have different ways of dealing with things, I could never EVER stay with someone who betrayed me so horribly, and not just me but everything we ever created together. I could never sleep with him or make love to him passionately ever again. I would just think about him and her and it would destroy me. If you can honestly say you will be willing to deal with the distrust, the hurt, resentment, anger, depression, paranoia, self esteem issues, etc etc that will fluctuate for mos, possibly yrs...go ahead. But my personal opinion, I'd be out and let him live with it for the rest of his life. My mother, sister, cousin, , grandmother, best friend, and several other people I know have been victims of a partner being unfaithful, and they all walked away and would never go back to those men, and some of these men are very close to me...that is why I am soooo picky about who i date, i make sure to date the opposites of those men I know. Link to comment
Amy Lee Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 Not going back to him. He cheated on me, and the girl made him confess. He says he split with me 5 weeks ago, which is a lie, and he's telling everyone ive gone wacko. He's lying cheating scum. It hurts so much, but i can do so much better.. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 "i deserve much better" I am so happy to read that! he sounds sick and like such a jerk. What a lack of a man that is, who can't own up to what he did. What a coward, turning his mistakes on you! God I hope you never speak to him EVER again. Men like that should have their penis' fall off... If you were unfaithful, own up to it admit it. Don't make excuses or blame it on anyone else BUT YOURSELF. thats what any "real man" should do and i put that under " " because no REAL good man doesnt cheat in the first place, but if he has any balls left, he'll own up to it. I'm sorry. I mean seriously, it wasnt bad enough that he cheated but the scumbag has to change it all around now in his favor. MAKES ME SICK! You need to have NO CONTACT WITH HIM, he's crazy. Stay away from him. I know you're hurt and angry, but just be RELIEVED you don thave to be with someone as scummy as him and that you finally saw his true colors. Link to comment
Amy Lee Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Know what hurts most? Every one of my 4 main boyfriends that ive had (including him) have hurt me. My first abused me, my second played around and i kept going back, my third proposed to me then vanished for 6 months..now him. He KNEW ALL about my past. He PROMISED he would never hurt me. The thing is, i kind of expected it from the others, but I trusted him so much... I gave myself up to it and it hurts even more because my trust is yet again, gone. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 thats the risk we all take everytime we fall in love. just make sure you never go back to an abusive relationship...don't dwell on his stupid behavior. Although it may hurt for quite some time make sure you go out and keep yourself busy. go out dancing, go out with friends. take a hobby, excercise (excercise is my stress reliever, i can't function without it) I hope things get better, PM me or post whenever you need to! Link to comment
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