Who do you get over the great disappointment

[CutieGirl]

...Of them not being "the one" you hoped?

 

After you've fallen deeply in love with them and held such high expectations that THIS relationship will last?

 

How do you get over the devastating disappointment when you realize it's really over and you'll never see them again because they just let everything you built - fall apart?

[lemondust]

By taking it one day at a time, and one step at a time. You keep moving forward on the path of healing, processing the hurt, the emotions, looking back and reflecting on what happened, on what you learned, and then looking forward to the new things and people that may come.

 

It is an unsettling feeling, no doubt about it. In some ways you do fall apart....but as you start putting yourself back together, you start to add new parts of yourself, wiser parts, stronger parts, hopeful parts. And gradually you become whole and healed again.

 

There's no way to avoid the disappointment really other than processing it and healing from it. Some people try to bury themselves in someone new (rebound) but all that does is spread the pain to someone new, who likely didn't deserve to be an emotional punchbag.

[laninaperdida]

I don't really experience extreme disappointment anymore.

I think I learned to deal by TRULY accepting people for who they are & what they're capable of doing.

A lot of people "say" they know their partner, friend, lover, whatever, but they walk around with these blinders on because they hope against hope to get what it is they're seeking.

Just because YOU'RE capable of something (letting your guard down, whatever) doesn't mean THEY are, you know?

Also, I just pay attention, lol.

Usually, you can get an idea of how someone will react just by observing how they handled a similar situation.

Just extrapolate.

I like this approach.

I really get to enjoy people for who they are while I have them.

[Slow Club]

I think sometimes you don't. I used to be a hopeless romantic. Now I'm not so sure.

[laninaperdida]

I'm looking forward to one day enjoying such a "zen" state as you, laninaperdida!

 

It's really the only way to be loving. Everyone says they want love but few know that it's all about being loving. (I should probably say "truly" loving, in recognition of how demented our culture is about this topic!)

 

It's more like indifference, lol.

Or the true meaning of acceptance.

I'm not sure, but it's works.