I could use some advice.

[jack11511]

My girlfriend decided to separate a couple days ago. We had been going out for a little over a year. She says that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. She also said that she didnt know that if we just went on a break for a while she might feel differently. Im not sure if she actually means this or if she just wants to make this easier for me. I really love her and would do anything to get her back. Ive looked through the message board to find some advice for the situation im in, but i havent found anything exactly like it. So, if you have any advice for me, please help me out.

[Switch187]

Well of course a person will try to make things easier on the other person during a breakup, and if she doesn't really know what she wants then this is going to be a hard time for you. If by not wanting a boyfriend right now is her answer, then that means she wants to go see what else there is out there before settling down with you. If she does say that maybe you 2 should take a break for a while, be sure to establish what type of break this is and want boundries are being set. Such as, is the break going to be exclusive (your both still "together" just slowing down the relationship and taking time to establish yourselves) or is this "break" going to mean that meeting new people to find what you want is the path (then you could also try to see what boundries are there as well). Just be careful, and give her space. Go ahead and give her all her time in the world to figure things out, but don't let her think that your going to sit around and wait for her to make a choice. I know you say you love her, and if she really loves you then she will realize it soon enough that she got rid of the "best thing" in her life. This will also give you time to see if she really is the one for you, go out and talk to other girls. You don't have to take things any further than that (that's your decision) but you will start to see things about her that you do or don't like. Eventually you may realize that you don't really love her that much anymore, and that there are better options for you out there. It's a hard time to be in, but give yourself and her some time, and if things were meant to be then your paths will cross again in the future.

[Cadence308]

Swtich gave some great advice. It sounds like she wants to see what else is out there right now and doesn't want to be tied down. You guys should set some boundaries and stick to those. I wouldn't wait around for her, if I were you. Get out there and date some other girls and open yourself up to new possibilities!

 

Good luck!

[DBL]

I pretty much agree with the above Jack. This is like a textbook scenario. I know you may feel that you haven't seen anything like this in the forums, but the truth is...this is the most common scenario on the forum. I wouldn't even establish boundaries...because if she meets another guy, providing she doesn't already have her eyes on someone already...the boundaries aren't going to mean anything. My suggestions is to start moving on in life without her. If she comes back she comes back, but most times when someone wants a break or claims they don't want a partner...it usually means they are out looking or have already have had an interest in someone else.

 

Good Luck

DBL