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geez when will the insanity end?

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Me and my girl been together for 1 year. Ill be honest it hasnt been all fun and games. Its been drug infested. Shes cheated several times behind my back to get drugs. Shes had a husband die of a drug over dose 2 years ago. The thing is shes very condemed. She still lives with her father and mother in law. So the intense emotions are still there when it comes to her dead husband. For my situation i am a recovered drug and alcoholic. I am doing really well with myself. I have a job and im ready to get on with it. As for her shes not ready but she really needs my help and someone to let them know shes loved by someone and wants her to do good. Some guidance more a less. Shes never had anyone she married at 16 because she was running away from boarding houses and family which didnt want her. You name it this girl has been through it. We have broke up for a week now. I havnt heard from her. I called twise lookin for her but sense we started going out i have been terrified and HATE calling where she is because of the situation with her in laws. There very bad people! Drug addicts also. She has no way of getting out of there or doing anything for herself cause shes so emotionally stuck in one spot.


She told me she needed to go get help for herself without me around because im a major down fall for her. Well the point of the matter is im the only one to get her out of the situation. Ive called Twice and both times people lie to me sayin she aint there. Or really shes not and shes out gettin' high. Ive thought about goin and lookin for her. If she is where i figure. I'd help her as much as i could get explain she doesnt need this life anymore to let me help her. I will have an apartment soon in probably a month or 2 and im scared cause i will have to do it by myself without her. But also scared cause she might make me lose everything. I want to really help this girl. Is calling a hospital or rehab to call her be bad? To let her know im trying and i dont want to just give up on her because she has back yard baggage that most of the world has. This has been going on for quite some time but i was to stupid or stuck in my OWN world to realize anything.


I wanna do something for her what can i do?

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You can't help anyone unless they are ready and willing to receive your help.


She doesn't sound ready--matter of fact, she still needs to hit rock bottom.


The most you can do is support her "when" she has hit rock bottom, or when she's ready to ask for that help.


Get on with your life without her--don't stop living because she chooses to run with a wild and destructive bunch of people. If you come on too strong (with helpfulness) she will only rebel.


I know someone who is muttled in the drug and alcohol life and it's ruining him, and it's awful to see. He doesn't (can't) realize it just yet, 'cause the hold of drugs is too strong. He's blind to his plight, as is this girl. They only realize it when they're sober or down from their high.


Then they go looking for the high to erase (for the moment) the pain of their life. A cycle that goes on until they've had enough or die.


The most that I can be of service to this guy is to be supportive when he's ready for it. When I see him I am pleasant and remind him I'm there when he needs assistance, as are tons of professionals to help and counsel him back to order.


It's a waiting game--tough love, but I don't stop living for the sake of him. I have myself to care for, as do you.


Let her experience what she needs to (as hard as that may seem), and move on with yourself. Be her support when she's ready for it. She's obviously not ready now.

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