Kool-Aid

It's painful at first, but lubrication and gentle penetration is necessary to get past the discomfort. To do it is merely a personal preference--it's not mandatory. It doesn't become magically pleasant when you get older--it's just a personal preference, some like it, some just don't. Your choice, your right, your prerogative. Tada . . .

I can't speak for every woman, but what turns me on is a man with confidence in his sexual performance. A man that will try different sexual positions--that enjoys giving oral sex to a woman, a man that can withstand a long session of foreplay, and maybe just that. A man that can be submissive and allow me to do what I like to him. I am turned on by an aggressive man also, that knows what he wants pinning me down givin' it to me. A man that can outlast my orgasm(s). That's my turn ons (as brief as I could think of 'em).

Are you embarrassed 'bout gaggin'? I gag, too for the bit as you try to go deeper but it stops. I take my time and he's patient. He doesn't seem to mind, rather he's impressed that I'm tryin' to deep throat him.

From my experience, the shower is the best place for anal sex--it's clean and goes in easy, well easier. The first time is the worse time--but once that's over the fear is almost gone. The only time I enjoy anal sex is in the shower, it's rather fun.

You can't help anyone unless they are ready and willing to receive your help. She doesn't sound ready--matter of fact, she still needs to hit rock bottom. The most you can do is support her "when" she has hit rock bottom, or when she's ready to ask for that help. Get on with your life without her--don't stop living because she chooses to run with a wild and destructive bunch of people. If you come on too strong (with helpfulness) she will only rebel. I know someone who is muttled in the drug and alcohol life and it's ruining him, and it's awful to see. He doesn't (can't) realize it just yet, 'cause the hold of drugs is too strong. He's blind to his plight, as is this girl. They only realize it when they're sober or down from their high. Then they go looking for the high to erase (for the moment) the pain of their life. A cycle that goes on until they've had enough or die. The most that I can be of service to this guy is to be supportive when he's ready for it. When I see him I am pleasant and remind him I'm there when he needs assistance, as are tons of professionals to help and counsel him back to order. It's a waiting game--tough love, but I don't stop living for the sake of him. I have myself to care for, as do you. Let her experience what she needs to (as hard as that may seem), and move on with yourself. Be her support when she's ready for it. She's obviously not ready now.

Appearance is the initial motive to scope out the mate of choice--the mate of choice could be of any age. I don't look my age, and I happen to be seein' someone who is nine years my junior. He's not concerned by my age, nor I his. We are both of like mind and enjoy each's company. If we'll grow old together--I dunno? Who knows if any relationship will last 'til the dyin' days, whether of the same age or miles apart. I dunno? Time will tell and the experiences within that time. Relationships are external and internal--appearances and mental stimulation. If ya got both it's bound to be good--if ya got only one of the two, good luck.

Oh is that ever hard to swallow. I didn't think anyone would simply say, "It's over" Sorry, if I was too blunt, but I don't like to beat around the bush--some things just need to be said aloud. From my stand point--the relationship you're tryin' to salvage seems to have ended a while back. True, love shouldn't hurt, either way. Sure sounds like I've gotten accustomed to hurtful love doesn't it? Where's healthy love, I want that! Healthy love begins with you. If you honestly love yourself (where you won't tolerate hurtful love) someone will reciprocate healthy love to you. Yes, I DO love him and I always will. He realizes some of the things he did/didn't do, but it's his expectation of me having to uproot and give up everything all over again that hurts me so much. How come he refuses to sacrifice, to change his day to day life, and I'm expected to completely disrupt everything in my life and the lives of others? That's what's so puzzling and saddening to me. He's behavin' selfishly--obviously your feelings aren't a priority on his list. Make certain "your" feelings are top priority on "your" list! Take care of yourself emotionally, 'cause no one else will. He definitely won't--he's proven that, hasn't he? Okay, I"m going to try to pick up my heart's pieces and put them back together and move forward. Maybe my moving forward will give me strength. Maybe even show me a thing or two about myself. Moving forward will give you strength--you just won't realize it right away, but keep movin' anyways. It does get easier as will lettin' go of him, even if you don't want to or feel ready to. Don't stagnate yourself over a man who hasn't been reaching out to you in a manner that you feel happy or comfortable with. Where there is an end, there will be a beginning--it's the way of life. It's the transition that is difficult. Persevere and you'll do well. At the moment you are self-absorbed with this man's reactions to you. Regardless of the happy memories and pining for him, why would you hang on to someone that refuses to, or can't, communicate with you. He won't change until he's ready to, and that may never happen. Is it a risk you wanna take--is it worth it? Listen to your friend--open the door to other opportunities. You don't deserve to be a prisoner of a broken heart from a disinterested man. By waitin' for him you may miss out on other (wonderful) opportunities. Take care of yourself.

Guys (and even gals) are attracted to what is appealin' to the eye, then the brain part follows (for most people). Some just have casual sex with a pretty person with no mental stimulation. That's the aimless lust thing that guys find so easily to do (some women, too). I don't think age is an issue anymore--appearance seems to be the initial impression of any attraction. Why else are we so concerned with our physical appearances? To attract that perfect someone!

It sounds to me it's over. I'm sure that's hard to hear (read), but sometimes we have to learn to let go as much as learn to love. Love should not hurt, whether it be giving it or receiving it. Don't let yourself become accustom to hurtful love--so many people do that to themselves--including me. But I think I've learned to love myself enough to know that I deserve healthy love. Sure you love this guy, but is it worth waitin' for him to realize it? I say, move on with your life with your son and teenage daughters. Perhaps when he's older (the man in question) he'll come around wanting to be involved in your son's life or yours. Don't hold out, though--you'll be just waitin' for the sky to fall. Pick up the pieces of your tattered heart and move on and up with your head high and proud. You deserve to be happy in the here and now, not later when things (hopefully) will be better. Work on the present--healing time is in order for you. Let go of him and concentrate on you and your son. Hell, I did it, and I'm glad I didn't wait around for my ex. It was tough in the beginning, as is any new transition, but it does get easier and you do learn to let go. Life feels lighter when you do. Best of luck.