funlovingguy Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Here I am nearly 7 months after my ex broke up with me, and although I feel that I have improved in many areas of my life, I still feel that one missing part...her. It really hurts, because she has moved on, and found someone new, perhaps someone who at this point seems to be a long-term relationship for her. It really hurts, because although I hold pretty high esteem for myself, this new guy has so many qualities that I don't. I can look at the relationship between my ex an I and I know why it ended, but I hate how I still feel so alone, and she has somebody. And this is not the only issue in my life right now. I am winding down my last year of college, and I am getting really scared because what I thought I wanted to do two years ago isn't what I want to do now, and I know a college degree isn't a waste, but I wish I were majoring in something I really felt passionate about. The fact that I will have a but load of college loans to pay back and at this point don't know what kind of job I can get to do that is leaving me feeling really scared. I don't have parents that can help to pay for much of anything for me, so I am feeling really trapped. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just don't know where the next step is for me in life. I have great confidence in myself that whatever I do I will do well, and become successful at, but what that is, I have yet to find out. And going back to the ex issue, I know there are a thousand fish in the sea or whatever, but what if the one I wanted, I had, and didn't have my eyes open enough to see it. I think in some ways, I got really comfortable with our relationship, and I sort of stopped trying to add exitement, and things started to get boring between us. I think the thing that hurts the most is knowing what I did, and knowing that it can never go back to the way it was. I don't know if anybody who reads this is from sort of a small town, but I find myself really itching to get out and explore new places. I think part of my anxiety is perhaps due to the fact that I have been in the same town for 4 years, a small town with not much to do, and I am getting bored with it. Well, I have to go to class now, thanks to anyone who reads and adds insight, or any comments. Quote Link to comment
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