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how can i get over my ex's?

wel i met this bloke and everything was going really well at the start as always but then it goes horribly wrong. He lived quite a way from me but i always made the effort to see him. He treated me like a princess and i was so happy, he made me feel really special. I got on really well with his family and friends which made it harder when we split up. we had a messy break up and i was devistated, it was so out of the blue i didnt expect it at all! basically he just said he didnt feel the same anymore etc. He was my first proper boyfriend after a load of users so i knew i had something special.

I know we are over but i still cant help but go out of my way to see him at the nightclub he goes to and i text him and stuff still which hurts when i get no reply.


Then there was my recent boyfriend, again lived quite away from me but he could drive and we saw eachother very regularly. I was really happy when i met him because he made the pain seem a lot easier from my last boyfriend. things started really good and we both seemed to have loads in common and he seemed a real sweetheart BUT......

One night when we met he called me kerry which is not my name but is similar, he said it was accidential and didnt mean anything (but i know now that it did). I found out that he had been going out with kerry while he was going out with me but said he had finished with her. basically he cheated on me and things went down hill ever since that night. then we broke up. He does speak to me occasionally but only when i ring him.

He moves away in a couple of days and i really want him to say goodbye to me, but i know he will have another idea in his head has he has mentioned sex with me again for old times sake, but i dont want to as it will upset me but i do want to obviously.

i havent spoke to him for a while and i text him saying dont worry about meeting up and that i had a new boyfriend (which i dont). Im going to see him tomorrow night which is really going to hurt but i want to go!!


I just can never seem to let them go and i must look so desperate to them and its really getting me down!! please help!! thanks for listening x

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Hi there,


It sounds like you need some good down-time for yourself. You jumped into a relationship shortly after you broke up with the first one, and it is really important for you to get to know yourself before you will understand exactly what you want in a relationship.


About the most recent guy, it is understandable that you would want to have a goodbye before he moves. However, if you were to have sex with him "one last time" before he leaves, it will do serious damage to your head and your heart. I know how you feel, I have been there and I have made the mistake. Please trust me on this.


I know that it's hard, but you need to get these guys off your mind. Spend some quality time with your girl friends, or if you don't have any, start making some! Look at this as an opportunity to better yourself and do everything in your power to make yourself happy.

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hey there thank you for your reply, but i only just read it.

i saw him saturday and i stupidly stayed at his house and slept with him again because i just wanted to be close to him one last time and your completely right it has messed my head up again and my heart.

He has moved away today so basically its completely over now anyway. i know that i can do so much better than him. Like you said i really need to concentrate on making myself happy before i look for another bloke but thats the thing im not happy in myself and feel i need to find another bloke to get over the last one and make my self happy again for a while anyway.

thank you x

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