Is this a good way to approach a girl?

[photograph11]

Hi ENA,

 

Alright, so the other day, there was this beautiful girl who works at my campus library and I decided to approach her. I had no idea if she was straight or gay, but either way I went in with an attitude that I have no expectations, and that life is short so might as well try. So I simply started to chat with her and then told her that I found her pretty, and then she responded positively by smiling and saying thanks. I then asked her if she was a curious/open minded girl, she then responded that it depends and then I told her because I would like to take her out for coffee. She then sort of froze and smiled and hesitated going towards a no and I then said that I'm guessing that she is more into men to which she responded yes.

 

Overall is that a good way of approaching a girl? How would you girls feel if a girl approached you this way (if your straight)?

[becomingkate]

I probably wouldn't use the words "open minded/curious" (makes me thing of sex right away, but maybe that's just me) but otherwise I think it was a nice way to do it. I've been approached by women in a similar fashion, but always clarified that I was straight and declined the invitation.

[Klokwurk]

Lol. No, that is not a good way. Bwahahahaha.

 

Chat her up, and then somehow slip in that you are gay; if she is too, and she is interested, she will mention it.

[photograph11]

I guess my approach was a bit too direct, but I didn't have time to chat and all, I mean it's easy for you straight people to just ask a person out without having to guess anything so it's the same result at the end of the day, I'm asking her out for a drink if she was interested she would have said yes. I regret saying the open minded part but I meant that if she is open minded to go out with a girl, I sort of got nervous while I was asking her, so I should of asked if she dates girls instead, oh well she still understood what I meant when I asked her out lol.

[careymarie]

I wouldn't be put off by that, not really. I think it's good to be direct. If she's straight, she's straight - your approach isn't going to change that. If she's not straight, she's either interested or not interested - either way, I think your approach was alright and speaking as a bisexual female, I probably would have been flattered and probably agreed to it if I weren't already in a relationship.

[MasterPo]

I think you did okay. I bet she's thinking about your encounter though. I wouldn't be surprised if you have another contact with her.

[Natasha24]

I probably wouldn't use the words "open minded/curious" (makes me thing of sex right away, but maybe that's just me) but otherwise I think it was a nice way to do it. I've been approached by women in a similar fashion, but always clarified that I was straight and declined the invitation.

 

I agree, don't use the words "open minded/curious". That makes me think you want to invite me back to your room to have kinky sex with 12 other people. I would also avoid telling her that she's pretty. I'm not a lesbian, but guys say that to me and it's an instant turn off (like they are only after my looks). I'm sure a lesbian would feel the same way.

 

I'm not sure there is an easy way to approach women about this. Have you tried the LGBT community/group/club at your school?