he broke my heart..

[ssar]

honestly I am knew to this and need advice..

I currently found my boyfriend on POF, the messages were loud and clear and beyond disturbing!

I have two small children with him, but only our son his his through blood, we were together for 2 years.. he blamed it all on me saying I do not give him enough attention! When I know it is hard sometimes when you work, cook, two kids. but I thought we always made time for our self's.. I guess I was wrong. I am waiting on getting mine and my children stuff out of his house. He says he still loves me and realizes what he wants now and is sorry he did it.

I am heart broken I am finding it so hard to keep going on with my daily activity's, it feels like a bag of sand on my chest. When I see him I cry he just wants things to go back to the way they where but how do you trust someone who does that kind of stuff! I do love him I want to be with him I want it to work, but im confused and don't know what to do. I feel like if I say its completely over he will move on the next day.

Tonight I told him maybe we need to stop, stop seeing and saying we want to make this work and he got really mad and said well I want my son all weekend and that's that, we wont talk, call, see each other only when you drop him off. but my son is going to be 10 months and he HAS NEVER left my side for more than three hours at the most. He blew me out of the water by saying that. My family does not want me with him and says if I go back there all done! I don't know what to do, my hearts is telling me yes you love him hes the one for you, but yet its broke, and my heard saying stop, back up hes wrong for you there's better, how do you get over such heart break with a child involved and when you were suppose to spend the rest of your life with him. I love him so much and it hurts, but I don't know what the RIGHT thing to do is.. and this is not the first time I found him on something like this, there's been texts and calls on his cell also..

please someone give me advice.

[kitkat620]

Hi. I'm assuming you have found out he is cheating on you, and not for the first time.

If you leave it will not be that this guy will not find it hard to move on, it'll be he will continue doing what he has been doing except without you. And if it's not you, it will be another.

I was involved with this very same type of man for over 20 years hoping and praying that one day he would come to his senses and stay true to me. It never happened.

The first couple of times he cheated I was devastated. I was heart broken beyond repair, or so I thought. After the first few times though, the heartbreak grew less and it became a way of life for me. He would cheat, I would accept it. And it continued.

Until the year of my 50th birthday. I promised myself that I would not let another year go by putting up with his cheating, drinking, and gambling. Oh, I had made those promises to myself constantly throughout the years, but I never followed through on my threats. But this time I did and told him he has to leave. It took two weeks before it sunk into his head that I was serious. Not that I could blame him; like the boy who cried wolf. Well, eventually, he did leave and I am happier now than I have ever been.

What I am saying to you is this. Do not sit back and wait for him to change. It probably won't happen. If he could do this to you now, after only 2 years together, when you have a 10 month old, what will prevent him from straying when the kids are grown and it is only the two of you?

The only person this guy loves is himself. His needs come before any others. Before you, and probably even before his child. The pull of other women is too strong for him to resist. It's not your fault. I believe he could be with a woman that he claims an undying love for, a woman he could claim he can't live without, and he still would cheat.

My ex continues to call me to this day proclaiming undying love and begging for forgiveness. I won't have any of it. Soon after we split, or it could've been going on while we were still together, who knows, he was with a woman who he claimed to be perfect in every way. He STILL called and texted me asking to see me, apologizing, proclaiming love....

Do you get what I'm saying?

It may hurt like hell now. It may feel you will never be able to function without him. But you will. It will get easier. Think of your kids and focus on yourself and figure out how to do something to make your life better. Without him.

You can do it.

I look back at the person I was 20 years ago and I don't even recognize that person as being me. And I never thought, back then, that I would have survived what I went through and come out happier and healthier, emotionally.