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Texting too much

Jetta

By Jetta
in Dating Advice

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Jetta Grand Master

Jetta

Posted
Posted

This guy and I have not met he asked if he could text me I was like sure. But now I regret it. He's texting constantly, okay it's only been a day but I had a text from 5 to 8 p.m. I was like done at 6 and put my phone in the charger and went upstairs. Only to check it this morning and be like dang. That's more than annoying, it's like invading my space. Now I don't know how to handle it. Do I blow him off, still give him a chance? Tell him I'm uncomfortable with texting so much before meeting? He even even messaged me on the board twice which I didn't respond to because I already texted him. Normally this isn't an issue for me. But this guy is showing me major desperation.

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Edmund Exley Contributor

Edmund Exley

Posted
Posted
Why dont you just practice some open communication and tell him how you feel and see how he responds. If he responds appropriately you may gain a little respect for him. BTW... Us guys are basically clueless and just trying to figure out what you need so a little direction never hurts.

 

Disagree. They havent met in person and she only gave him her number a day before. This isnt a case of needing direction, this is weird behaviour.

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findingmeandyou Enthusiast

findingmeandyou

Posted
Posted

IF you actually LIKED this guy, this wouldn't be so much of a problem. Also, I'm inclined to think he continues to text because you are responding. You said you haven't told him of your discomfort, so why do you expect differently and why complain about it?

 

Again, it really sounds like your interest level is low, so instead of complaining and stressing over some texts, just move on.

 

I'm really put off by some of the comments here - he's clingy, controlling, desperate. Yeesh people, you haven't even met the guy!?

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Edmund Exley Contributor

Edmund Exley

Posted
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IF you actually LIKED this guy, this wouldn't be so much of a problem. Also, I'm inclined to think he continues to text because you are responding. You said you haven't told him of your discomfort, so why do you expect differently and why complain about it?

 

Again, it really sounds like your interest level is low, so instead of complaining and stressing over some texts, just move on.

Actually she made it pretty clear that she hadn't responded, and how is she supposed to actually LIKE the guy? They just met online and exchanged numbers a day before. She doesn't even KNOW him yet.

 

I'm really put off by some of the comments here - he's clingy, controlling, desperate. Yeesh people, you haven't even met the guy!?

No we havent, but this behaviour is a sign of these which is why we said "It sounds a little", especially when you continue to text someone you more or less just met and who hasnt replied, thats a little over the top.

 

Obviously she found it odd enough to come here and ask for others opinons.

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The Raviator Rookie

The Raviator

Posted
Posted

OK, I think we need more info from the OP.

 

Exactly how many texts did he send you up until 6pm that you responded too and then how many did he send after 6pm that you did not respond too?

 

I mean did you exchange 4 texts and then he sent you 2 more or did you exchange 50 texts and then he sent another 30.

 

Obviously its too much for you if you feel that it is too much but lets put a number to it.

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Anderson Silva Rookie

Anderson Silva

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't take this alone as a red flag. I have friends who love texting and exchange literally hundreds of text messages in an afternoon and I have friends who check their phone twice a day and rarely text unless they really have to. It would not be unusual if he's just really into texting, more so than your level of texting, and you're interpreting this as a sign of something more than it really is. Why don't you just tell him that you're plugging in your phone and finish off with something like "talk to you tomorrow". If he still bombards you with texts after that then it's another story.

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LoveSoDeep Experienced

LoveSoDeep

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Personally as long as I'm responding if he keeps texting it's as much my fault as his. After I stop responding I should only get one more text. In response to my last one and then maybe.....maybe one saying he's going to bed b/c that's jsut him telling me not to respond now it's too late. So if she got more tahn 2 texts after 6pm when she stopped responding I'd say he was a bit clingy or desparate.

 

Have you tried not responding as quickly? Sometimes if a guy is texting me non-stop and I take a break for a hour or so he gets the idea.

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LoveSoDeep Experienced

LoveSoDeep

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Total about 15 texts 3 after I didn't respond. I responded twice. Most guys text ONCE per day that I have actually met. This just seems excessive to me.

 

So that measn he has texted you 18 times and you have responded twice? That's a little overboard if you ask me.

 

And I would assume one of your responses was just to verify that he did in fact have the right text number. I know people have different communication needs but if this is too much for you....then it's too much.

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