Jump to content

meeting with the ex for the first time, taking back control.


Recommended Posts

Hi all... ive posted a few threads about my situation so i will keep it short.


Together for 9 months, everything was going good and she decided she needed space, i didnt agree and begged, pleaded, cried and everything else which ended up in her pushing me away, blocking on fb and not contacting me at all.


She said that if i had have just given her space we wouldnt have broken up and she was adament that we will catch up soon and that out paths will cross again one day. She kept in contact with my mum and said she still loves me and cares about me ect.


Now... after 3 weeks NC (6weeks since B/U) she messaged me asking if i still wanted to catch up... i played it cool and we agreed on a day and that she would contact me next week to see if i still wanted to catch up.

We spoke again recently as she had messaged to say she was thinking about me and my family as my Grandfather is in Intensive care.

We texted for a while and i called her as i wanted to go to bed but not seem rude.

We spoke for about an hour, it was pleasant, she told me about her new job, details about her uni schedual, work roster, new phone, and what she has been up too and she asked me all the same questions regarding how i had been and how i was going with work and trade school (i'm an Apprentice Plumber)


We left the conversation on a good note, she thanked me for calling and said she looked forward to seeing me next week and then the usual goodnight.



Now thats the basics of it... she has had total control of everything for a while, she said she would aproach me when she was ready, which happened sooner then i expected. She has also unblocked me on facebook but i have not added her as a friend.

I want to take control of the situation, i dont want to seem pushy and pressure her because i know she will just run away and i will never hear from her again.

We agreed on meeting up on thursday after i finish work and she finishes Uni, i was thinking about telling her something has come up and if we could meet up tomorrow instead as it sould be easier for me.


Right now i am in two minds... i am still hopeful that we can work things out, her mum has been great and wants us to rdconcile and has advised me on how to act when we meet up but after discussing it with my older cousin, i am also nervous that she is reaching out to me in an effort to try and 'make it easier for me' and for us to be friends for a while before we end up going our separate ways over time.


I love this girl with all my heart, i have sorted out a few things i needed too in the last month or so, i have accepted that we are not together anymore and have focused my energy on work, getting back into the gym and sorting out my injury i received whilst i was in the Army prior to discharging and my studies as it has been 6 years since i was at school.

I feel pretty good with myself, i have started eating again, stopped drinking and feeling sorry for myself and have returned to an almost normal sleeping cycle, i have always had trouble sleeping when i am upset, troubled or depressed/anxious.


Am i right to think i should try to take back control in an effort to get my girl back and not be crushed again if it doesnt work out?


Any advice is appreciated especially from the ladies on this forum amd anyone who has gotten their ex back ect.

Link to comment

Hey there your situation seems very similar to mine but am not at the catch up point yet


I've had it through my head a thousand times and what I'm gonna do if it does come about is playing it cool be the man they fell for , have fun and a laugh together and only bring up the relationship if they bring it up themselves don't want to push too much as if your like me during the break up you will have pushed hard


Good luck and keep us posted

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...