Communication break down close to ending relationship

[SPM]

Has any ever had this issue with their spouse? My live in gf of almost 3 years tends to scramble what I say, or not say, and claims to know what I'm thinking or what i really mean. Then she turns it into an argument that she sees as my fault because I dont listen to her. She ends up shutting down, yelling at me saying mean things and calling me names. She would also storm out of the room saying she doesn't want to speak to me for the rest of the day. So I calmly left and went to my parents to do laundry( I see them onceevery two months ). I didn't yell I wasn't angry, still she said I ruined her weekend. I'm really sorry if the post is gibberish I have a lot of thoughts in my head.

[Abigaelle]

There is a fact about women:

 

when we are sad, or angry , we cut things. like nails, hair and communication.

 

but that doesnt have to do anything with calling our loved ones names or yelling at them.

 

How does she talk to you she is in a good mood? how often does this happen?

 

 

Seems like she likes to accuse for nothing and everything. I think you did the right thing by staying calm and leaving afterwards

[SPM]

She's a sweetheart when she's in a good mood. We generally fight every week now which is really disheartening. Its usually about silly things but it all boils down to our poor communication. I thought I was wrong to leave lol I like hash things out right them and there but I just can't do that anymore. Thank you for the reply!

[Abigaelle]

She's a sweetheart when she's in a good mood. We generally fight every week now which is really disheartening. Its usually about silly things but it all boils down to our poor communication. I thought I was wrong to leave lol I like hash things out right them and there but I just can't do that anymore. Thank you for the reply!

 

I have been in similar situation so leaving is good to protect you emotionally because you wont be exposing yourself to yelling and screaming and insulting etc

 

Have you tried talking to her? Fighting every week is definitely a bad thing. Has she been upset/angry/stressed about something outside of the relationship?

[SPM]

Good point. Yeah I have after every fight, and I reiterate that we have a communication problem. I mentioned to her a few times that we need counseling, she shrugged it off. This past time she said if we need counseling then the relationship isn't going well therefore we should end it. But the she later on came around to the idea of counseling. She's always stressed about something whether it be work, family, friends, her weight etc. I'm stuck in a job that isn't the greatest but I'm fortunate enough to be able to live okay.

[Abigaelle]

Good point. Yeah I have after every fight, and I reiterate that we have a communication problem. I mentioned to her a few times that we need counseling, she shrugged it off. This past time she said if we need counseling then the relationship isn't going well therefore we should end it. But the she later on came around to the idea of counseling. She's always stressed about something whether it be work, family, friends, her weight etc. I'm stuck in a job that isn't the greatest but I'm fortunate enough to be able to live okay.

 

is she an anxious person? has she always been like this?

 

I am asking because I am exactly like her. I dont like to talk when I am nervous or stressed. I have ups and downs and yes I yell and stuff.

But if she has always been like this, SHE needs help. Just like me.

You have to make her realize how much this is hurting you.

 

have you tried doing her the same thing ?.. does SHE come back to you after fighting, or YOU go to her?

[Abigaelle]

by doing the same thing I meant stop talking to her, etc

[Throwaway999]

People say "Oh, we have our fights like every other couple!" but this is bunk. There are couples out there, real live ones, that SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE ADULTS! I've seen them with my own eyes, they exist!

 

Fighting about inconsequential things every week is not healthy. Your girlfriend doesn't know how to communicate very well. Maybe you don't, either, but at least you don't yell, call her names, and then storm out of the room. Do you want to be having fights like this every week for the rest of your life?

 

Everybody has their good and bad qualities, so maybe your girl has some great qualities that outweigh all the fighting. Me, I think I'd get tired of it even if she was a supermodel who paid me to live in her mansion.