Help

[Aerynmd]

HELP!!! I don't even know how to start or what to say, I just need someone....anyone to help/talk to me!!!

 

backstory: Been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. He is in the Entertainment industry and since the day I met him I told him I could never date anyone from that world b/c I KNOW I am not secure enough to date someone from that industry. .....Talking everyday turned into being best friends....which led to falling completely head over heels for both of us. And even then I said, I'm too jealous/insecure, I can't do this. Blah blah...he ended up getting some work on my coast at about the same time as I temporarily moved home to help my Mom who was diagnosed with Stage 4 blood cancer out of nowhere. (I am a Medical Resident btw)....I spent Oct-Dec caring for my Mom until she passed before Christmas (my Dad died just 6 yrs ago)....and for the most part he was great..@first of Dec we got in a fight and I told him to f*ck off....and he did...even when my cousin texted him to say it was the end for my Mom..nothing. I buried my Mom and the first contact I had with him was from me telling him Merry Christmas...where he told me he still loved me but ("I told him to eff off so he was)..no more contact until he texted me Happy New Year... a few days later he said "You need to decide what you want...which I dont know...still in shock/grief over the past month... So a couple of weeks ago he started flirting with a girl on Instagram and it killed me, so I texted him telling him 'Im still here....I still love you"...and so about a week ago he said, "If you want me come and claim me, I'm yours but you have want to come to me"...I kinda ignored it and we texted every few days....

 

Issue: He travels all over the country for his job (in Entertainment) and he started following this skank stripper he met at his show.....and then he made it known she was with him last night by posting flirty bull**** on Instagram. THAT was it for me. Completely! I deleted my Twitter and my Instagram and cried all night b/c I knew he was hanging out flirting and god knows what with her....I decided to do the No Contact thing and allllll day killed me not looking at Twitter and Instagram...and then an hour ago he texts me "I hope all is well with you, just wanted to say hi".....

 

my question that's killing me: HOW do I stay off Twitter/Instagram where I see things that upset me/other girls? It's sooooo hard!!!!! How do I do it?

 

Yes, I am the one that ended things b/c I couldn't rush out to see him/spend time with him b/c of my Mom passing away before Christmas/I'm in my Residency which I can't even explain how hard is...

 

I know ya'll are gonna say its me, I just want to know how ya'll stay off Twitter/Instagram where seeing/knowing anything hurts SO much!!!!! And YES, I would love nothing more than to say screw it all and run out to him in LA!!!!! But realistically I just can't....and I still resent him for not being there at all when my Mom passed.

 

Please help me....just get through tonight.

[timeaftertime]

That's tricky but I know exactly how you feel. Everytime my ex posted a new status or would be tagged in a new picture on facebook, it would KILL me.So I deleted him and it actually helped quite a bit. I still think about him a lot but at least his new life isn't always being shoved in my face. Unfollow him on Twitter, not sure how Instagram works but block him from there if possible. The less you know about his life, the easier it will be to move on with yours.