Confused.

[WitBit]

I really don't understand what is going on. There is this guy I really like, but have no idea what is going on in his mind. I've overanalyzed the bejesus out of this already, but it's still not letting up. I am getting slightly annoyed with myself since I cannot seem to control my infatuation. I manage to reason myself out of this crush every once in a while, but within days of that moment (like he would somehow know) he reappears in a glorious way and messes up my equilibrium all over again.

 

So here's the background story: We grew up in the same town, have known each other for quite a while, but never really established a personal connection until about a year ago. This is where things get complicated. Back then he had just broken up with a long term girlfriend and I was in a rocky relationship. We somehow managed to reconnect, but there was nothing beyond pleasantries you exchange with acquaintances. He had just then decided to relocate to another city a few hours away. What with the past haunting him in our mutual home town, he accepted a job elsewhere. Fast forward a few months. My relationship came crashing down in flames. I was a complete mess back then, trying to pull myself back together. And, boom, out of nowhere, he drops back in. We start talking and really hit it off. He flirted with me like crazy but we both knew it was not the time for anything to happen. I was freshly out of a relationship and he was still struggling with his past. Since he is a few hours away from where I live, this communication was conducted over the internet in one way or another. Things slowly progressed and we became fast friends. When he came back to visit his family, we met and grabbed coffee. This went on for a couple of months, we talked regularly and added more layers to our friendship. Then suddenly something changed, for me, that is. He comes back to see his family. Stays in town for a week. We hung out almost every single day. Something clicked. I never really felt that kind of a connection with a guy before. He seemed to feel it too. Told me he feels like I'm in his head. Well, I developed quite a crush. After he left town, I couldn't keep it in anymore. Since I'm tired of waiting for guys to get their act together and make the first move and because he suddenly made me nervous and that was affecting our friendship, I took a chance and just told him. He was surprised to say the least. And told me he has no idea what to say to that and that he doesn't know what I expect of him. I told him I expect nothing but just really wanted to get it off my chest. Also said I understand if he doesn't feel the same way. He said he'd like to talk it out another time. I backed off after that. Giving him space and time to talk to me on his own terms. Well, that didn't really play out as planned. He talked to me alright, but completely ignored the subject. So I never brought it up again. He also came home since then and made sure weeks in advance that I'll be there at that time. I made it a point to not intrude and let him initiate contact when I know he's in town. He always does and we always see each other more than once even if he's only staying for the weekend. I am now really confused as to what is going on. I don't want to pry and force him into talking about how he sees me and I honestly didn't really think it through when I told him I liked him more than just a friend. What bothers me though is that he never said these feelings aren't mutual or at least back away a little. I know I would, if someone liked me and I didn't like them back. Whenever I manage to distance myself a bit, he pops back into town and does something ridiculously sweet or thoughtful and I'm back at square one.

 

I just need a definite answer about what this is. While I do like him a lot, I have no doubts I would recover quickly if he told me all he wants is a friendship. Not knowing for sure makes me look for signs. And you know, what I need to do is rein in the crazy. How do I rein it in though? Without severing the bond completely?

[Klokwurk]

He enjoys knowing you like him more than a friend, because it makes him feel good about himself.

 

Get it through your head that if he isn't moving things along toward that, he does not want that, so THERE.