Recovering alcoholic slipping off the wagon

[Tom1990]

One of my best friends is falling off the wagon. He'd been clean and sober for over 10 years. He had a couple drinks at a college thing about a month ago, then another couple drinks since then. That's twice that I know about, but of course he could be lying to me. (I trust him impecably, but I don't trust the addiction when it talks for him.) We hung out last night, and he suggested we go have a few drinks together. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that, so we went to a movie instead.

 

I told him I'm worried about him, because I almost watched him die from drug and alcohol abuse before he sobered up.

 

Anyone else have experiences with this, and want to advice or just share?

[lavenderdove]

You can't control another person's behavior. You can express your feelings about it, but the reality is people make their own choices.

 

If he suggests drinking, you should just reply that you already almost watched him die from it before and you can't do it again. And tell him you think he needs to not get on that slippery slope to drinking problems. but all you can do is make that statement, refuse to see him when he is drinking, and if he every calls you or tries to see you when drunk, just keep repeating that you think he needs to stop now and perhaps get into rehab.

 

but if he's still in the 'one or two drinks only' phase, he probably won't listen. He might self correct if you are just honest with him and express your concern, but lecturing usually has no effect at all.

[Tom1990]

Thanks for the support, LD.

 

I'm happy to say he's told his mom and his wife, and has reset his sobriety date. And taking it "one day at a time."

 

I told him I loved him, and that it coulda turned out a whole lot worse!