exbf cheated now I can't trust my new b

[sasha12]

It is so hard for me to trust my bf I hate feeling this way. We have been together for over a year and I can't help but think that someday he is going to leave me for someone else. It really freaks me out. In my past relationship I caught my bf having sex with my bestfriend. I saw everything and I can't get it out of my head and it happened about five years ago. I have found it very hard to trust after going through all this. I even went to counseling and it didn't help. I don't know how to get over these feelings and move on a be able to trust.

[TheMailMan]

I know that im hella younger than you... but i would say talk to your bf about it...

Tell him that you had a very bad past experience and how you feel...

 

or check this out... i think i saw this in a movie...

 

put a rubber band on your wrist... and every time you have a feeling that he is cheating on you then snap the rubber band...

[sasha12]

lol, I like the rubbber around the wrist. how funny. I have talked with my bf and we have a very open relationships we discuss are problems openly. He is very understanding but in return it's not always fair to him that I can be accusing but he has been pretty understanding.

[maynards_razorblade69]

I have the same problem It's horrible, isn't it?!

What I should say is give him every chance to cheat on you, leave you for someone else and if he doesn't, then he's trustworthy. Better to find out earlier on in the relationship than be brokenhearted later.

Another thing is, trust your instincts. Aside from the pain of being cheated on by a former boyfriend, do you, deep down, think your boyfriend now will cheat on you, will leave you? If you do, then he's giving you some reason to make you think that, and you need to discuss that with him. If you don't, then calm down, look on the net for exercises and really boost your self esteem. If you really think he's gonna leave you for someone else, you need to boost your self esteem, as you obviously have a pretty low opinion of yourself.

Remember, you are wonderful, and whatever happens you are entitled to love, respect, honestly and loyalty.

Hope I helped,

Lottie

xx

[sasha12]

I like my bf alot and I get all freaked out.I don't know what to think of the gut feelings that I'm having and I'm so confused and sometime I think I'm being paranoid than other times I don't.

[guy40az]

I know exactly how you feel I was in a 13 year relationship and I caught my wife cheating on me and it is really hard to trust anyone again after being cheated on and deceived like that. Just try to remember that your current BF is not the one that cheated on you. I can honestly tell you that not all men cheat.

[odysseus77]

i trust my instinct always, even if it seems to have no foundation...i never trusted my ex-girlfriend of 2.5 years...she never really gave me reason not to, i just had this gut feeling, and low and behold after promising to be with me forever, she walked out on me for a different lyfestyle, and different guy...i have met people who i trust also, so its not an everyone thing...trust your instinct, people these days dont do it enough because there is no "proof", thats why humans were givin instinct, so that we dont need proof...my two cents