Confused

[lonelyguy]

Ok this is just weird, i've been talkin to this girl online for a while know that goes to my school and the problem is we never talk at school. She never says anything and I never say anything and when I ask her about that she always says I dont say anything either which is true lol. Well thing is from a distance we glance at each other and stuff and make eye contact but the problem is when we are up close she like tries to avoid eye contact (which is totally obvoius to me by the way she acts) and sometimes when we arent near each other she makes quick glances with a laughing-like smile if that makes any sense lol. O yea and sometimes when we up close and we accidently do make eye contact she like quickly looks in another direction like down or to the side. Also its kinda hard for me to talk to her but it makes it especially harder for me when she won't make eye contact when we are upclose.

 

The reason why I am confused about all of this is because I know she is a very outgiong person so I dont understand if she is doing all of this because she likes me or is just playing mind games with me. What do you guys think?

[sisterlynch]

She is playing mind games, but it is fun, isn't it??

[Sexychiick16]

How long have you two known eachother or known OF eachother?

[fallslikerain]

Hi LonelyGuy,

 

You brought up a few interesting points, especially about the eye contact thing. Its been my experience that a lot of people have problems keeping eye contact with people they like if they are shy or really really like them and are uncertain with whether you like them back. However its also been my experience that people that won't make eye contact is a bad thing too.

 

Another factor may be how you're trying to make they eye contact, is it friendly and harmless looking or is it something more aggressive. I know you may read books that say that you should always maintain eye contact with someone you like, but if you actually have had anyone do that to you, its just kinda weird and almost glaring. Yes, you should make eye contact, but it shouldn't be so much that its overdone, it should be natural. The reason why the books say you should maintain eye contact, is really just their way of saying to respect the girl (not having your eyes on her chest 95%+ of the time)

 

As for conversation, i've always felt that instant messanger is the worst tool for meeting girls at the prerelationship/early relationship period. The reason for this is that when your talking to her online you can't read her body language, hear the tone of her voice. She could be talking to 80 other people, or doing 1000 other things online. Because you can't read her body language(many scientists believe that 80 percent of what a person says in their body language) it leads to misunderstanding and bad communication. How can you really tell what she feels?

 

Another problem with IM is that it limits the development of your confidence when talking and conversation skills. Sure its nice to have time to think, and have a delete key, but when you go out in person, you find yourself struggling even more, because you haven't developed your skills of talking to an actuall person. And of course this is going to make you more nervose. Two people talking online for 3 months are complete strangers to each other when they meet in person, since now they both have to think on their feet.

 

Just keeping trying to talk to her in person, find more common ground, and read between the lines.

[lonelyguy]

well we've talked for a few months now i guess but yea i would say its natural glancing but how am i suppose to deal with the fact that she only makes eye contact from a distance and not upclose?

[sisterlynch]

Look at your face in the mirror and think about her and how you would feel if she were your girlfriend. See how that looks, really look at yourself to see how she makes you feel. those are the signals that you are sending her!!!