Gf Left 3 months after daughter was born

[Nephilim]

So just looking to let my story out somewhere, maybe for answers and support too.

 

We had been dating for a year when she got pregnant. We had our fai share of issues but always go back together. When I first found out she was pregnant, I was scared shocked, was not ready for this life change as I had just got out of a 5 year marriage before this relationship. But I can around within a month and we starte dto work tegther and I did everything I could to make the rest of the pregnancy easy for her. We lived to together, i took her to all appointments, it was tough change coming but we were working through everything.

 

I was a full student, and had full time job when our daughter was born in september. She was out of work three weeks so money was tight and I had to go back to work a a week affter daughter born. And all the time I was off was unpaid leave because I was a contractor. So I was sturgglling but had the best interest of the family in mind. Because of classes i had to be up at 7, she was at her moms house, and I would be there all the time when not at work or in school and on weekends stayed there. A month after baby born she left me out of the blue because she said she felt alone, and everything that had happened in the past, and i was not supportive to her when i found out she was pregnant. Which was only one month before I manne dup and committed to being there. I then found out that her ex came back into her life and that was a part in her leaving.

 

It crushed me that she just one day left our family and me with out talking to me or trying to fix anything. We where split up all of november when at the end she comes back to me and tells me she wants to work it out. I tell her we need to change a lot for it to work but i was committed 100% and have to start fresh. Well I did but she never did that. I have been in counseling ever since, she has yet to go with me or even by herself to work out some of her demons. She's the type of person that has never changed or fixed and issue in her life, she always sweeps it under the carpet till cant deal with it then runs away as she did with our relationship. Shes very stubborn and prideful, and has the worst influences in her life. But at the same time she helped me get over a lot and improve my life so much. So basically I have been waiting for her to attempt on fixing the relationship since december first. Well last weekend was the last straw, I could not deal with me being there and feeling so alone with my daughter. Everytime I bring up and issue it turns into a ****fest because she does not know how to handle it and it goes out of control . She decided it was best for her to leave because she no longer loves me and because of that has no motivation to fix anything. Its so hard, she just walked out on family and everything, and theres nothing more I can do about it. It hurts because she never really tried to fix anything in our relationship ever, I thought baby might be enough for her to realize she needs help and need to put effort in learning how to fix and coupe with things but it didnt. That has been my number one issue with her since day one, she has no clue how to fix anything, and her stubborn attitutude and pride make it all the worst. I cant believe she did it and shes so cold and a ***** to me now, and it hurts so much that shes like that with me after all i helped her with, shes cool about our daughter, but the way she acts to me is just making me hate her more and more each time we talk.

 

Quick facts: I'm 25 shes 26, Ive given here and helped her in every way I can. All her fmaily and friends see that , and they all tell her its a huge mistake whats she doing.But people are going to do what they want. She illegal no real education and has a house clenaing business, that i have helped her so much with. When her car died, I have her my Jeep and got a new car. Through all her fmaily dramam and stupid bs I was there for her. She has lots of emotional issues because childhood which are all a factor in this. I have baggage to, i never married her because old marriage is still in divorcee status and shes known all about that. And IM quite sure shes pregnant again after stupid drunkin night a week ago. She took test tuesday and of course negative but im hoping she gets her period that way well know for sure as read it can take weeks for it to show on a urine test.

 

 

There's more Ill update later maybe, if you read this thank you. And did proof read so sorry.

[pl3asehelp]

Post partum depression or anxiety?

[Nephilim]

Thats what I told her, but she refuses any sort of help because thats the person she is, its the worst scenario possible.

[pl3asehelp]

That's the expected response. Can you talk to her mom about it? I'd sorta approach it like this. Tell her mom you think she's acting irrational and think she might have PPD and that you've talked to her about it and she says no. See what she thinks. Mention you're open to the idea this is really her choice and if that's the case, you'll deal with it, but that you don't think this is really her.

[Nephilim]

Im a lot closer to her older sister, Ill try and ask her, I feel like weird talking to her family about this as I did once already but then gf finds out and she gets pissed off I would talk to others about this. Shes the one that told me shes making a big mistake but because of her personality its going to be to late before she does

[pl3asehelp]

Im a lot closer to her older sister, Ill try and ask her, I feel like weird talking to her family about this as I did once already but then gf finds out and she gets pissed off I would talk to others about this. Shes the one that told me shes making a big mistake but because of her personality its going to be to late before she does

 

So she basically acknowledges there's something wrong with her. At least that's something. I'd go ahead and talk to her sister - couldn't make it any worse, right? You can't live in fear of or let others temper dictate your actions/decisions.

[Nephilim]

Thanks, I would have never though of thought, I messaged her already seeing if she had some time to talk this week.

 

Its super hard because I know there knowing I can do anymore, the rest has to come from her and hopefully she wakes up and sees the way shes handles situations and things she doing are not right and its never worked out for her.

[Nephilim]

So update:

 

Right now shes my transportation for the time being as we had one vehicle. We had an disagreement on the way home, basically I asked her why if she was not loving me, had nothing to really lose a that point, why not go to counseling with me. We had scheduled an appointment but she decided to watch her sisters kids that day. Her response was that she feels she has no issues she needed to work on. But in the end she agreed to go so I could stop bugging her about it. So I think I'm going to force that hand then, I don't expect miracles and not much in regards to relationship to change but its a known fact she has some issues and hopefully when we go, she will realize that and hopefully continue to go by herself and that may improve chances of fixing this down the road.

 

I was watching daughter from when i got off work till 830: her and I where texting back and forth talking in general. Daughter was asleep i told her i would watch her no issues till child woke up around 9 pm. Ex came over around 9:30, we cut the child's hair gave her a bath, she ended up staying while I went to the gym, and then she spent the night there. I was going to sleep in another room but we basically slept same bed different ends and directions. Woke up this morning got daughter ready and she dropped me off.

 

CN: thinking of calling her play and her and I going to counseling sessions not expecting much in regards to relationship but maybe she sees she has some stuff to work out and continues to go by herself.