He changed his mind.

[sunflower]

hiya I wrote the post link removed

 

Now he called me and told me to forget what he said he was really emotional seeing me but he really doesnt think it would be a good idea to get back together because hes not ready and doesnt know when he will be and doesnt expect me to wait.

He feels that it is best to move on because I know what I want and he doesnt.

I feel hurt but I think I am in shock still because I havent cried yet. He only told me this an hour ago.

When we met up a few days ago HE WAS THE ONE all over me and I was completely controlling myself. I didnt let my emotionas show because I didnt wanna give in. He kept telling me how much he missed me and wants to start over. And now he says he regrets it because he doesnt want any of us to get hurt in the long run.

I told him not to worry because I felt the same way--only I was thinking he wanted something again so I was willing to try and be friends and see where it goes. But now he doesnt wanna even do that he just wants to move on. He said if we are destined to be together we will be together but if not at least we can move on.

I am hurt and confused. I guess this is a good thing I dont have to think about anything but I am still really sad because I thought he really loved me and wanted to try. Thats what makes me sad.

I need comfort

[ezila]

*hugs*.

 

I know you're hurting, but all you can do is move on at this point.

 

You deserve a man who is certain that what he wants, is you.

 

Don't worry, Mr. Right will come along. Hang in there.

[Bones28]

Hey Sunflower, thanks for the update, sorry its not what you wer expecting. But you know what, you've already made it through the hardest part. Getting over the dependent part and the urge to be with him. If you were able to control your feelings and emotions like you did I think that is a mjor step. That shows signs that you are able to get over him, you just cant get over the past love. We have such great memmories of how the love was and what it felt like that just the hope of it coming back brightens us up. It was a false hope, but it shows that love is what you need...not necessarily him. Take this time to do everything you need to do in order to find love again. Determine what it is you love, and what you want your next relationship to be. Keep yourself busy and if this further distance from him brings him back with stronger feelings, then talk about it, but don't wait for it. Congrats on getting past the dependent part and controlling your emotions, keep at it and good things will happen.

[ashes]

Just kick him out of your life. I was dating a guy for 7 months. At first, he seems like a very confident man who knows exactly what he wants and looking for. Then, after months of dating, he was slowly lost and confused. He seems to not know what he is looking for. Because I love him, I have tried to be patient. But in the end, he is confusing me too. How can a man at 31 does not know what he wants in a partner. It is such a joke to me. Also, our breakup was so blurry.

 

At first, I was very hurt because he was the one that was all over me. He told me how much he loves me and how much he wants to be with me. And how can someone who says he loves you so much could be confused and yet has never tell you what are the things that are making him confused. Never once, he has tell me that. Without a discussion to see if we can sort things out, we broke up.

 

I start to realise that men who do this are extremely immature and selfish. They do not want to be the bad guy so they kept you hanging on to a unhappy relationship till you can not take it anymore and you make the move. Then they will become the victim.

 

So, forget about this guy and move on. Go party and flirt with men. Enjoy yourself and remember how try to remember how happy you were before you meet this jerk.

[reborn]

Sunflower,

It is so weird but the same happened to me 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend broke up with me over 2 months ago. Mostly he felt he had to dedicate his time to getting his life together, etc. Though I was the most amazing woman that he didn´t want a girlfriend at this time in his life. I wo´n´t go into much detail here cause that is not the point. He got back in contact with me because he wanted to know how I was doing and that he loved me and cared for me (as I friend) and we got together 2 weeks ago for lunch. The date became long, I controlled my self but I still loved him and though I went in as friends, I totally felt the same as you, I still loved him. Then the next day we met again because I was moving and he helpmed me out and exactly what you described happened. He jumped all over me and told me my love, my sky, i love you, i miss you. I refused a bit at first but then it was so hard for me to control my self because I had feelings for him, well, it is your same story. We were like girlfriend and boyfriend again like nothing had happened. But when all was said and done he felt like he didn´t want to hurt me that he loves me as a daughter!!!!! (can you believe that crap, when a day before he said he loved me) he is younger than me by the way. That he realizes that I have feelings for him and that he doesn´t want to fall in love that he wishes he could say otherwise but that he doesn´t feel he is in love with me. Doesn´t think it is fair for me to wait for him, but worst ´doesn´t leave much posibility even in the far future, cause the boy doesn´t even believe in destiny!!!! At least yours does. So, 2 days before he loved me, like nothing ever happened said how much he missed me and that the break up was a lie, an error and then he said that was just the happiness to see me, cause it had been so long but that he doesn´t want a girlfriend now, etc.

I am going through pain now, I wish you would post again and give me some advice or tell me how it feels after a month of this torture. With me is like some moments I hate him, others I feel I have put him away, other I love him and I want him back but then I think about things and feel rejected, humiliated, confused. It is very confusing and heart recking. I have keptmed my self from contacting him though.

 

I don´t understand what happened. Does it mean he never loved me? was it a reaction, an instinct? where did those feelings come from if they were not ehre in the first place?

Please write and tell me your progress, it will be encouraging to me.