Establishing the relationship...

[Fisher1]

A little bit about the situation I'm in... I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. We get along great, have fun together, and I can really see this going somewhere between us. But we've never talked about what we are, or where things stand between us. We get together at least a few times a week, talk everyday though sometimes just a text to see how each others day is going, we spent new years and new years day together, we have sex on a regular basis, we've introduced each other to our friends, make plans for doing things together in the future (we have a list of things like skydiving, scuba diving) etc, etc.

 

The only time we've talked about relationships was about a month in; I asked her what she looked for in a relationship and I told her what I looked for. We were on the same page and, probably not incidentally, that night was the first time we had sex.

 

So, my one main question is: is it appropriate for the guy to raise the question of where things stand, or where the relationship is going (establishing exclusivity)? And then, what tips might you all have in raising the topic, without coming accross as needy or putting any pressure on her?

[loveology]

I don't think there's anything wrong with inquiring about your relationship at this point, since things sound like they're going so well. At an opportune moment, I'd just tell her that you really like her and that you see this relationship going places. Then ask her how she feels. If she sounds like she is genuine agreement, then ask her to be exclusive.

 

If I were really into a guy and we had been seeing each other for as long as you guys have been, I wouldn't find that type of conversation to be needy or pressuring at all. I'd be excited!

[EssexMan]

We were on the same page

 

So what was on that page?

 

So, my one main question is: is it appropriate for the guy to raise the question of where things stand

 

Of course.

 

I'm kind of surprised you haven't agreed to be exclusive yet, to be honest, or is that just because you're both assuming you are without actually saying it?

[Fisher1]

Well it was kind of generic what we talked about, but she said she wanted someone she could be herself with, could enjoy trying new things with, and be without drama. I told her that basically I wanted the same thing, and that I was enjoying spending time with her and getting to know her. She agreed. And after New Years when the day was over, I said something like "I have so much fun with you everytime we're together". She replied with "well I'm only half the fun" and said that I was the other half...

 

Regarding the fact we haven't established exclusivity, I guess I've just assumed that we are and have been going with the flow. She doesn't seem to talk about feelings or thoughts (to be the one to bring it up at least) so I don't know if she's assuming as well. That's why I feel like I should bring it up.

[EssexMan]

That's why I feel like I should bring it up.

 

Yeah, I think you should. If she's not great at talking about these things don't make a huge big deal of it, perhaps just bring it up casually.