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Need some actual career direction, a rant.


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This will be long and likely incoherent in spots, so bear with me.


I have been employed in a small small family owned Cellular Engineering company for 5 years this April, and I can no longer take the mercurial nature of my job, schedule, long travel, and the severe lack of personal life. But being family I have put off leaving out of distorted loyalty, and a feeling of responsibility to get the job done in some really hostile work conditions. Part of my sticking around was to get 5 years in "somewhere" so that I could get a decent career started at the next place of employment, but that time is drawing near and I am really struggling to find where my true talents lay.


Yesterday was a tipping point of sorts, when I realized that I was obsessing over trying to figure out the body language of a friend/romantic interest and using that to ignore the real problem she and I discussed, career. She really got me thinking about my real desire to be successful, not for the money as much as to be a provider for a family some day; and yes I will admit that I was fantasizing about winning her over. But as I actually spent time thinking not on her but on me I kept hitting walls as to where I want to go with my professional life.


I want to stay in the area (or an hour radius) were I own my home for the next few years, so that I can actually live in it and not out of a suitcase. I have also considered going back and getting a Graduate degree, but I get hung up on being practical vs where my passion is. History is my life in many many ways, but there is no money in it unless I spend more years and lots of money slaving away to get a doctorate then going into academia. I do not want to stay in the cellular industry, since I have no passion for it; but that is all I have known for the last few years.


All in all I am confused about my career path, worried that the last 5 years have actually made me unemployable, I'm turning 30 in a few months and fear that may hold me back, no good support network to help me in my search, and I am impatient with me not being "perfect."


Thanks for muddling through the scrambled thoughts.

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I'm kind of a jack of all trades: Site survey & assessment, project design, job-site supervision, purchasing and inventory, customer relations, web design, RF engineering, whipping boy, trouble shooting, as-built documentation.


Sadly just being employed is what I like the most. I enjoy some of the early site survey and design aspects, but that is mostly because I am out of the office and on my own. However those jobs typically require an engineering degree and I am just a savant in it.

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