vancouver to ireland

[bb]

ME 20, M, Ugrad, Vancouver

HER 18, F, Gone to Med school, Ireland

 

Weve been dating(serious, very serious) for a yr and 2 months. Her medical degree will span 6 yrs. Every year she will be in ireland for 9 months studying and bak to vancouver in the summer for 3 months. This will go on for 6 years.

Jus based on these stats, try predict this relationship, i'l give mo details down there.

 

So we were very compatible, we were lik soul mates and everythin, lik the best relationship ive been in. This was may first love too, ive had a few infactuations but this was love. So she comes in and shes lik she got accepted to a med school in ireland. I dint wanna come in between her career and asked her to go( her parents n everyone wanted to go, so i dint wanna be a negetive force). So she went and then we decided that we'l try, give it a go and maintain a relationship, i was actually ready to wait for her fo 6 yrs, thats how much i loved her!!!

 

She went there, she saw the new life, the new culture new people( here she wasant allowed to go out much and her parents r harsh conservative). So in bout 5 days she goes that shes confused, she doesent knw if she has feelings fo me nemore and all that bs, lik no perticular reason jus u knw how gurls r..

 

So we broke up, but the thing is i love her too much, i think she was the one fo me, she was perfect fo me in everyway and i dono y i think i can never find neone as good as her again. i was her first in a lot of things and she doesent look as devastated as i am!!!..shes fyne and goin out and havin her fun. If u looked at her a month ago it was lik if she doesent hear mah voice once a day she'l die. How did that happen??

 

So shud i try to somehow get her bak, i.e if theres a possibility of this relationship lasting 6 yrs. Or jus let her go, and if i do wut do i tell mysef, how do i assure myself. Shes there new life, new friends, wont be long fo a bf, and im here all by myself. Jus feels lik its not fair, lik im so on the lossin side.

 

Wut shud i do?

[arwen]

hey bb,

 

(Sorry, the more your message goes on, the less I follow. Your writing starts in English and ends in the sort of IM language... I am no native speaker of English, so if I am not mistaken):

 

* your girlfriend went off to medschool for 6 years but will be home for 3 months in 9 months.

 

* This was a major life change for her, and now she broke up with you.

 

I think part of her new-found freedom meant wanting to be free completely. She is free for the first time in her life. I think she wants all her life like that, maybe she feels that you remember her (unintentionally on your part of course) of the restricted life at home.

 

Another explanation could be that she is simply not able to cope with the distance.

 

My relationship started out as LDR, so we are 'used' (hahahaha big word in my case) to it, but for the two of you it's a new situation. I think it could be more difficult to LDR if before you were used to spend all the time together.

 

You love her very much, and I am sorry that you are going through this. The only thing I can say is that you should probably leave things as they are for a while, just to give her and yourself some space (I mean emotional space, the physical space is MORE than enough of course...). In the meanwhile you try to live your life. After a while you can maybe call her and ask her about things, how she feels, and tell her you still love her.

 

I wish I could say more to encourage you, but it's really difficult to judge. She will be gone for a long long time, so I wouldn't keep your hopes up. Move on... if she wants you back, she will say so, believe me. Maybe it helps you to write her a letter after a while, telling her how you feel about her. It could give you some closure and her something to think about.

 

good luck and keep us posted,

 

Ilse.

[bb]

Thanks fo ur reply,

Yea the medical degree will span 6 yrs. but every yr, she will be in ireland for 9 months and bak to vancouver for 3. This will go on for 6 yrs and after that she will be somewhere in the US for residency.

So she wud be away from me for 9 months each yr and will me for 3 months.

But ah well we did break up, jus that i dont wanna loose her. I cudnt c us split.

yea she might wanna be single fo a while now, i asked her if she had any crushes in her new school, or shes leavin me cuz of a guy she met in her new school...her response to the crush question was:

" Not at the moment, but in the future there might be"..what the hell does this mean?

So jus feel lik she has it all...and all i had was her..

Thanks