Boyfriend acting weird after NC

[Lilliene]

My boyfriend and I are on NC for 11 days now. Yet since we work in the same vicinity whenever he sees me he tries to act not concerned. As every time he did a disappearing act, I used to run after him and apologize. This time I wanted it to be by my rules so I did not contact him, but he seems to be acting indifferent whenever I see him now. Laughs with other colleagues for no reason, appears chatty with others when I'm there but ignores me. I still did not initiate any contact with him. Pl advice why is he adopting this weird behaviour. Is he not affected.

[rask]

He's trying to move on, and you should let him.

[RGS]

Men are better at hiding their feelings, especially in front of others. I thought my ex was ok too but after 4 months NC we met up and I was fine and he was the one nearly crying (he didnt seem to have processed much at all in the 4 months we were apart)

 

My advice, go hardcore NC and live your life. He will be the one with regrets.

 

I was sad sure but I took up new hobbies and kept busy and my ex was seriously shocked at how much I'd moved on whereas he seemed to have had a miserable time. He said "you're stronger than me" I think he has no end of respect for me for that.

[PaintWithLight]

NC is not a strategy to play mind games with the ex-partner. It is a chance to get some clarity in your own mind. Instead of reviewing his actions and reactions, keep your distance and discover your own path. The relationship has ended. You can go strong into NC and move ahead with your life or you can cling to the old finished relationship. Most people who cling end up regretting wasting even more time.

 

What is going on with you? Are you trying to engineer a relationship reboot? Who broke up with whom?

[Lilliene]

This was my problem posted a few days ago. Since u seem to have gone thru it, can u now advise. "My boyfriend of over two years has a constant habit of punishing me by doing a dissapearing act after a disagreement. I ve been the one most of the times to call him back. At times he wants me to beg him to return. At times he ignores my calls and texts completely even though he knows it hurts me. He just wants a relarionship without commitment although initially he promised it. Whenever im around him i cry bcoz of his unstable hurtful behaviour. Initially he was the one chasing me into the relationship. Now he wants me to chase. My self-esteem does not allow it, btw he s missing again and i have not contacted him yet. Pl advise

[Lilliene]

RGS what's your take now

[RGS]

Just stick to No Contact but as paintwithlight said it's a strategy to help you move on more than anything. Any chasing you do will just make you come accross as needy, they pay more attention when you stay away even if you don't physically see the effect it is having. I spent months thinking my ex didnt care as I hadn't heard from him, he was suffering but he was just being proud. Don't get me wrong he didnt want up get back together but he was unsure of his feelings which was progress from the break up being "the right decision" I reckon he'll be back in the next year or so. The problem is that I've moved on now.

 

The thing you have to ask yourself is do you really want a guy you have to hunt down OR do you want a guy who cares so much he doesn't do a runner in the first place? Easy really.