aquachick Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 I have recently found myself being attracted to men who are much older than me (i'm 27). The past few men I have dated have all been in there mid-forties. Does anyone think this is strange? Link to comment
MojoPin Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 Seems pretty normal to me, everyone wants something different in life, some might think your looking for a father figure which could be a problem i guess, tho as long as your happy i wouldent worry about it. Link to comment
aquachick Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 Thanks Mojo. I wondered about that myself, but I think I just like how men in their 40's are a little more conscientious about how they treat women...Does it matter that they're divorced? Link to comment
pineapplegirl Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 I don't think it's that big of a deal. As long as you're sure they're really divorced...not turning you into the mid life crisis mistress. Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 Better divorced than married! :splat: Seriously, though, there's nothing wrong with dating a divorcee as long as you are willing to deal with the issues that come with it. (Divorced people have a lot more baggage -- pain / mistrust / other feelings they must deal with, kids, etc..) And, I'm exactly the same way -- I much prefer older men to those my own age. They are (in general) more mature, grounded, and secure (both with themselves and their position in life). Link to comment
Sexychiick16 Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 Nomp im 16 and im real attracted to this guy who is 29 more than half my age lol...I think ur 27 so hes what...13 years older who cares...Love is love...attraction is attraction..Do you likeGeorge cluney!/?? hes a stuf muffin to me! But yeah im 16 and the guy im into right now and seems into me is 13 years older than me too...How weird.. But yeah..thats that.... Link to comment
Mun Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 As long as you are both single and you are both adults>Go for it. Don't pay attention to anyone else's hang ups. If you aren't hurting anyone and you are both happy it's no one else's concern. Link to comment
guy40az Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 Strange??? Not at all, I would think you're more common then not. It really seems to me that a lot of women are attracted to men that are older. I am 41 and I have noticed women in there late 20's and early 30's are very interested in me. I also think its ok for the reverse thing to happen to. If a woman is attracted to a younger man I think that is just fine as well. Link to comment
aquachick Posted October 31, 2004 Author Share Posted October 31, 2004 guy40az: Do you find the relationships to be successful despite the age difference? And, as much as I can understand the appeal for an older man to "score" a younger chick, do you find yourself being unable to connect with the younger women you date? I worry that the older guys are just looking for a "trophy" and I'm just too naive to see it... Link to comment
guy40az Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Well I have only been dating a few months and I seem to connect the best with the 23 year old that I am seeing now. We like the same things and we really enjoy each others company, but it is a really new relationship. When we first met she had told me she has always been interested in older men she said that men her age were to immature. She has just recently got out of a relationship with a 34 year old and she said he was to immature for her. I have to admit though she doesn't act like most 23 year olds I know. She really seems much older then that. I will let you know how it is going a month or two from now. As far as a trophy I don't look at it like that at all if I found someone I really enjoyed and the relationship kept growing stronger it really wouldn't matter if she was a lot older or a lot younger then me . Sorry im not much more help then that. Link to comment
pineapplegirl Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Thanks guy40az. Your feedback helps me to see that even though some of the guys that I have dated are really just out for "the score", there might be a few of you out there that really don't care about that kind of stuff... AQUACHICK: good luck and be careful. hope you have better luck than i do... Link to comment
DBL Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 I always dated girls younger then myself, except on rare occaions. I'm not really mature enough for women my age. I didn't date younger women because they were trophys, but because I got along with them better then girls my own age. They didn't carry all the baggage that single women my age carry. Also the amount of guys the slept with are usually a lot lower too. aquachick: I will say that the age thing did catch up in the relationship. I kind of felt like I was getting old alone. You can't turn to them and say remember this, or remember that. Cause they don't, they are in a different decade. DBL Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Something I've noticed is that as I get *older*, the guys that I'm interested in get *younger* so it will eventually all even out. When I was in my teens, I'd have crushes on guys in their 40s (yeah, I hear some of you saying "BLECK!"). But, now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I go for guys in their 30s...not such a big difference. I'm not saying that's true for everyone, but your tastes *do* change as you age. Link to comment
aquachick Posted October 31, 2004 Author Share Posted October 31, 2004 AMETHYST: Are you happier now that you've been going for the younger guys? Do you feel like it was kind of a trade off? I know that guys in there 30's are still trying to get there feet off the ground, personally and professionally, while men in there 40's tend to need "less training", so to speak? Link to comment
DBL Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Don't you all think you would miss out on the golden years with age gaps? I mean if your say 26 and the guy is 46....when he is 70 and is falling apart you will be 50. He will most likely be dead before you retire. So it may be less training in the beginning, but when you are all 50-60, instead of retiring together you will be widowed or changing oxygen tanks and doing sponge baths. DBL Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Just to clarify, the guys are still older than I am...they're just younger than the guys I used to be interested in. But, sure, I'm happy with my interest lying in the guys who are mid to late 30s. They may not be as 'grounded' as those in their 40s but their life experience is closer to my own (instead of having an entire generation between us, we just have a decade), and I suppose the 'trade off' is worth it to me. I also think that the smaller age gap makes for less problems in the future. If the guy is 20 years older, he'll be retirement age when you're in your prime. If he's 10 years older, your closer to going through mid-life together. (I'm *not* saying that a relationship with a 20 year gap or whatever can't work...I only mean that the smaller the gap, the more parallel your lives will run.) Edit: DBL, your post wasn't up when I started writing mine. As you can see, I completely agree with you! Link to comment
DBL Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 I guess I snuck that in on you Amethyst. I agree with your comments. My future x wife is 24. We have nothing in common. I am who I am in life and she is still trying to discover who she is. It became too much to adjust month after month while she is trying to figure out her life still. We watch a movie like "The Wedding Singer" and she just doesn't get the movie the way I do. DBL Link to comment
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