Lonely even when surrounded by people

[Lucy3]

How can I feel so lonely when I have a great family, great friends and a great job...?

 

Yes i have recently broken up with a guy (it was only a 5 month dating thing though so not like the love of my life or anything) but even before that ended i felt the same so i dont think it has to do with relationship status. I just always seem to have this fear of being alone which is ridiculous because i have a great family and had a great up bringing (which i know i am really lucky to have) and i have some great friends, not loads and loads but about 8 friends who i could call really good/best friends. I still just have this fear that one day i will just have no one, i have been off for the last week and literally filled my week with fun stuff, saw friends, did stuff with family and had a great week...so how and why. do i still feel alone? Sometimes if there is a weekend when i dont have much going on or just stay in i feel soooo lonely and feel like everyone else is out having an amazing time and that i am left all alone and have no friends etc, when i obviously know i do, its so irrational i just dont get where these thoughts are coming from

 

Des anyone else feel like this?

[Johnny Utah]

I understand.

 

It's a little bit anxiety, a little bit irrational fear of loneliness and self-acceptance. Sometimes we define ourselves by the people around us when we should define ourselves by our values. We are not the people around us. They don't define us, they support us and compliment us.

 

Be comfortable with who you are. Don't validate yourself by other people. Try things out by yourself: shopping, walks, reading, etc..

[kampuniform]

Yes, continuously. Most people will feel this way, though few are loathe to admit the fact for fear of being stigmatized, and fewer still can identify the source of their distress.

 

Most people manage the anxiety by palliative measures: powerful deflections, which cause us to make light of our misery; substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it; and intoxicating substances, which make us insensitive to it. "...great family, great friends, great job" experiences can be stacked as high as you like, but will only be a temporary disengagement from this anxiety; if you pause for a second, loneliness floods in like water rushing into a sinking ship.

 

A person makes sense of their world, and defines themselves, through their interactions with others. Managing to do so otherwise would mean that you are personality disordered.

 

There is nothing wrong with this anxiety, and it certainly hasn't marked you out of the crowd as an exception.

[860ffg]

The way you feel is perfectly normal. It is how many people feel, even maybe the most of them at least in some point in life, but they just wont show it or talk about it.

We can be never alone in the world if we do stuff that we love in it...

 

I know what always helps for me when I start feeling like this - helping other people! I am serious.

Go volunteer and share some love and happiness with someone less fortunate and you will feel fulfilled for a long time after.

You will come to see that we are always, yet never alone.