will she wont she

[archiep]

Posted my story about break up of me and gf of 7 months earlier this month. Basically i screwed up big time and its caused a split. We met face to face after 3 weeks of the wrongdoing (virtually had to coerce her into meeting) but we did talk. I said all the sorrys etc and meeting ended with her saying she didnt know if she could come back.

It was a niceish meeting with hugs and kisses but she ended saying that she didnt know if she could trust me not to be like that again (blew up a bit and got insecure). I was even insecure in meeting and said if she didnt want it i would prefer closure to which she said if there was no chance at all i would end it now but she didnt know yet if she could come back and needed time.

 

Did NC for next week but then succumbed and phoned her, getting very insecure again, almost accusing her of seeing someone else as soon as picking phone up because she hadnt contacted me for week. Phone call then was calm and she said it was over for now but she wasnt going to say she never would want to see me again cos its not what she wanted. What she did say was that although she "loves" me, she did not "like" me the last 4 week since the "incident" , saying i came over as so down, insecure and basically looking pathetic and sorry for myself and that she wasnt sure if we could get it back to what it was.

 

Now been 10 days NC and not even a text message from her and no idea whats going thro her head. Although im now keeping up NC , did i go to far with 3-4 weeks of pestering etc and have blown any chance ? During the last phone call i said isn't 5 weeks too long to keep me waiting for decision, and she said "you finish with me then if youre not prepared to wait". She also said that she did not expect me to sit at home waiting and put my life on hold- if i wanted to meet someone else she would understand but she did still love me, and even said that the break had made her realise just how much she missed me.

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

Hey, I've been through a similar scenerio that you went through, with the insecurity and all that and a whole lot more. I would suggest giving the girl space. Its hard to say if you blew any chance or anything because i'm not really in your situation. Defineatly not contact her, let her come to you, if she loves you she'll come back. Contacting her and showing seperation and insecurity is only going to drive her away furhter. I ended up driving my ex away and she like hates me and trashes my name and everything else. Definelty give her space and time. That is the key in this situation. Don't show any signs of insecuity either, that is a major turn off. Give her space and try seeing other people to build up your security level. Remember things always work out for the best. I know its hard to believe that at this point and i have a hard time believeing that myself with everything that has been going on with me, but it will work out for the best. Keep me posted in your situation since i'm kinda in the same boat as you.

[crookster_man]

Well insecurity is a surefire way to scare someone off. Women like to be with confident and secure men. Insecurity has little to do with the other person and much to do with you.

 

If you truly want to better yourself and possibly win the girl back you have to aske yourself why you are insecure. What are you really afraid of? rejection? not being good enough. Ask yourself this, how does another persons acceptence of you refelct your worth in any way?

 

Build up your self confidence, get invovled in activities and hobbies that build your self up. Things you do well. work out, yes exersise is a great way to boost your self image.

 

You may have lost this relationship, but don't lose the lesson. Good luck with everything.

[Leslii]

Insecurity so unattractive. You need to work on self-esteem issues before you decide to date again. Women are crazy for confident men. You may have blown it with her but work on yourself for a while and then try dating again. Take time so you don't end up with a rebound girlfriend. Dating is a learning experience. The pain won't go away for awhile but accept what has happened and do your best to move on.