worried i'm not on the right track

[saku]

i've posted before about this girl i've been talking to for a few weeks now. i have a hard time opening up sometimes to just about everyone(i guess i have social anxiety?) anyway, i really like this girl but sometimes when we're on the bus or at school, i sometimes get nervous and don't know what to say. i mean when we do talk it seems to go alright. we usually talk about school or movies or books or whatever but i'm not like most guys. seems like most girls want nothing but "a bad boy" or someone who takes love for granted. the last girl who broke my heart said things like i was nice....as if she would've perferred if i spit on her or somethng. this girl i'm talking to now seems a bit more open minded though but i know if she already has a b/f, he's probably alot better than me. i know i'm talking too negative here but i have my reasons. i'm 21 and i've never experienced love; it's both humiliating and depressing. trust me i've tried to prove to people i'm worth getting to know but it never really matters. i really want to get to know this girl i'm talking to now but i hate how i can't open up more. i guess i'm kinda cautious so not to say anything stupid.

 

 

there's one other thing and i'm not sure if i can bring this up but i couldn't find any other place to talk about this:

as i said, i'm 21 and i don't really have much purpose in life (least it seems that way) everything in life seems to be catered towards those who aren't lonely. for example that movie that just came out The Real Cancun. it's about people my age going to mexico for spring break drinking and partying. i doubt for one moment they've ever had to deal with the pain of lonliness. but i'm torn: part of me hates them cause they're nothng but a bunch of closed minded people who look down on people like me, but at the same time.....i wish i could experience life like that. cause through all their binge drinkin and sex orges they somehow find true love....and it's depressing. sure i know some of you wouldn't understand why i feel this way but i want to know if their is at least one person who feels lonely in this world like me. i mean they really try to fit in and find acceptance but it seems like everything they do is in vain. sorry to have written so much and i hope i haven't made anyone mad with what i wrote. bye for now

[SwingFox]

Hi Saku,

 

I am sorry to hear how you feel. I understand that you feel somewhat down, because you haven't met love yet. I can tell you that I met love later in my life, myself and I am telling you this, there's nothing to worry over. It will get to you some day.

 

My suggestion is to be a little bit more outgoing. Smile to a girl once a while and talk to them. I am sure you're doing a great job there. Say 'hi' to girls to and see how they say 'hi' back at you. Little example?

 

I am single right now, 31, and I am totally different being at work or being in my private life, outside work. When I am at work, I used to not show any emotions towards my fellow workers. I changed that a little over the couple of months and started to say 'hi' more often and talk to the female coworkers more often... *Grins* ... you should see them stare at me at times

 

I hope that this helped you and I wish you good luck. Don't be too shy is all. May be the first woman will reject you... just keep going

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Eddie]

Hey man,

 

I've not much time, but...

 

You sound very much like me. Believe me mate, there's a lot of us out here and I know exactly how you feel about thinking we're not good enough for true love in some way, like we'll never find it because it's something that other people have.

 

However, I DID find true love, with a very cool and beautiful girl - and this made me feel fantastic for a long time. However, my advice is this...there ARE lots of girls that will fall for you in that you are sensitive and you're not a macho loser - loads of women are looking for you. However, I think we also have to work on the other side of our personalities too - that is, women do need their men to be manly. I think one of the reasons that my true love slipped away was that I was too sensitive. You'll find that most if not all girls want someone who CAN be sensitive but who can also be macho and their hero when the situation calls for it. Of course, these days being a hero doesn't necessarily mean being an athlectics star or the president. Find something masculine that you're good at and pursue it...be courageous - try rock climbing, swimming, karate, DJing, there's loads of things that will bring out the man in us and help us hold onto these women. You WILL find it, just don't LOSE it once you've found it by thinking all she wants is sensitivity. Be aggressive once in a while, it doesn't hurt. At the end of the day, all women are drawn to confident men...men who literally or at least seem to ooze testosterone - it's a science thing and we can't avoid it.

 

Good luck.

 

Eddie

[mashimaro]

hi'

i'm suggesting you to look at urself at the mirror and say "there's nothing wrong wit me..why can't i be open wen some one is?" if u really wan this girl..u should ask her if she have a bf 1st..if she doesn't..be open to her...tell her how u feel..not many girl wans bad guys..their is girl out there who loves nice and sweet guys...so don't lose ur hope!~

 

i hope i helped!!~