What's my deal?

[curly183]

My ex and I went out for over 2 years and we broke up over this past summer. It was his decision. He said it was for different reasons, but when we talk, I think it boiled down to him wanting some freedom sometimes and he wanted me to get my own life. Throughout the breakup we stayed in touch and talked. About 2 or 3 months after the break up we started hanging out sometimes on weekends and talking on the phone every night. Well, now we are hanging out every weekend and during the week when we can both fit it in. We are both happy being together and it's great. We're pretty much back together and it makes me happy, but some things still bother me. I am very introspective and I constantly overanalyze things and think too much. So-- I guess I just feel like I want things to go back to how they were. I guess what I mean is I wish I could be happy without being cynical or leery. I don't know if I am just scared of being hurt again or what. I know I love him and something inside me draws me to him like I just know we're supposed to be together. Things seem like they will be better this time around than last time, but I am still feeling weird. Is it just my nerves and my fear? Are my feelings legitimate? Has anyone else felt this way? What's my deal? Any help is sooo appreciated.

Thanks guys

[sunfirechick]

Hi Curly,

 

My situation seems to be VERY similar to yours. My boyfriend broke up with me at the beginning of September, because he wanted me to be able to do my own thing (started school that same week!) and grow on my own. It still sounds ridiculous to me! And I've been getting the idea (we talk very rarely) when we talk that he wants to give it another go. I'm holding off for right now, mainly because I am in the middle of mid terms in school. But I also have to figure out what I want (other than him, of course) from the relationship, and be very careful not to get too comfortable too quickly. I don't really know what to tell you, I just had to reply because our situations sound so similar! I am also 21, can I ask how old your ex is? If you want to PM me, I would love to hear your story, as I am still very confused myself as to what is going on here!

[curly183]

He just turned 23, I'm about to be 22. My stories are all posted on here if you want to read them. I don't know how to find them though. Sorry.

[TrueHeart]

Perfectly legitimate to feel skeptical. Especially after a 3 month limbo of just 'being friends'-- sometimes couples, including married people-- need a break from the monotany. If your insecurities are that of what brought on the break-up, and things are going well... perhaps you might want to discuss this with him.. Remember, communication is #1 in a relationship, and the ability to really convey your feelings and get feedback... Be upfront with him..

 

Trust your gut, not your heart. If you are certain things are meant to be, chances are-- they probably will. However, since you remain so analytical about things-- maybe you both need to sloooww down. Take things one at a time.

 

Hope this helps, but the sole purpose of advice is to inspire thoughts from a different perspective... 8)