Vegetable Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 It's been 3 weeks since he broke up with me, saw my ex last Monday cause he was helping me with some work related things and we had a really good time. But I also felt like my feelings for him had changed. I texted him after he dropped me home and told him that he was right for breaking up with me, that after seeing him I felt my feelings for him had changed, that I'm glad he's doing great on his own and I wished him the best. He replied with "good luck to you too, congrats on the moving on, good night I know him, and this message to me sounds like he was expecting me to say the opposite. I've been doing okay since Monday. I still miss him a lot, but the problem is that we haven't really talked about the real reasons why we broke up. The break up happened too fast and felt almost irreal. We've exchanged a couple emails and texts over the past 3 weeks, where I'd tell him I still want him and he'd say he misses me, thinks about me, loves me and respects me but that's it, we can't go back. And I just feel so weird about it. And tonight I have a date with this guy I was seeing a year ago. We really liked and felt extremely attracted to each other but he was in a LTR with someone else and it wasn't right for us to keep seeing each other (we went on a few dates while he was on a break with his gf). I started feeling those funny little things for him today when he asked me out and I'm actually very excited to see him. But I also want my ex back so bad, I actually just asked him if he'd like to have lunch with me tomorrow or Sunday. He said he'd think about it because "he doesn't want either of us to get hurt or confused". Not sure what to make up from that... I want to move on, and forget about my ex. I don't think about him the way I used to 3 weeks ago but I still love him so much and would definitely take him back if he asked me to. I think after he saw me on Monday he started having feelings for me again and I totally killed it after I told him I didn't feel the same anymore... I don't know if I should pursue this "lunch" thing with him. And now I don't even know if I should go on this date with the other guy. And trying to decipher what my ex just said is killing me too. So, extremely, confused. I don't know what's best for me right now, maybe you guys can tell me what you think. I need both positive and negative points of view. As long as they're realistic. Link to comment
markie6 Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 While you don't know what you want .... don't do anything you may regret. That means if you want your ex back , then perhaps dating somebody else , might get back to him and therefore ruin your chance, but you're single , therefore what can it hurt. I hope you aren't just dating to fill a void... becuase that's not healthy in the long run. Personally , when an ex goes off with somebody else, it wouldn't ever help their chances of reconcilliation whether i was dumper or dumpee. He made his choice , at the end of the day he cannot really complain, but as I suspect you want him back....go carefuly In the end it depends what you want , all the time you don't know what that is... look after yourself .... try and heal , without doing anything you may have cause to regret later. What is best for you.... well only you can figure that out , none of us can tell you the future will be good or bad. We can only guess and make suggestions , which can vary from the play it safe , to the wildly chaotic ..depending on who logs in take care Link to comment
Vegetable Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 The problem is that I know all these things. If you really ask me, my plans for today were working, playing on my Kindle, watching Investigation Discovery and waiting til 9pm to go to bed. I'm not trying to fill a void, hell this guy I'm seeing knows I broke up with my ex recently and he also broke up with his gf not too long ago. I don't wanna bounce in a relationship just yet, cause I really love my ex and want him so bad. T________T.......... I don't know what's wrong with me right know. The heck. Link to comment
markie6 Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 well if you're anything like I was , a few weeks out... you are suffering withdrawl symptoms and a lack of direction cause by being dumped .... sadly... loads of us here go through this... it's limbo... and when we dig our way out..or are handed a lifeline... it goes on. All the normal suggestions ... how to try and get your life ticking over , wothout potentially digging a greater hole... well it's never that interesting. I travelled for 2 months... but that's how I learnt to cope... going somewhere new where I wouldn't bump into memories ( just drag them with me) It could also be frustration at the lack of control you have over the situation, so I wouldn't suggest burning bridges , given what you really are after. Link to comment
Vegetable Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 I think I know what it is... I think as you say, I'm in limbo. Pretty much because I haven't had a real conversation with him, and after seeing him and his reactions, the way he looked at me and all that I know he still has feelings for me but he's unable to express himself, for whatever reason. And even though I do want him, love him, need him, miss him... I understand we can't be together because he hasn't explicitly said anything. But I need to hear that he wants me to leave, and to move on. So I can actually do it and not feel bad for being with someone else. Link to comment
markie6 Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 If you need the final bullet.... go for it as pushing for contact when the other person doesn't (answers or a statment) will hasten that forward if that's what you need. If you are impatient... well that's up to you.. Nobody wants to wait in limbo forever , I always advise people to walk, never look back unless they are caught up to and told it's a mistake and lets get back together. Most people wait a while, even when they say they are over it, they're not ..it's a brave face put on. How long do you wait..?. well as short a time as possible... clock is ticking Rushing into a rebound type scenario will not benefit you long term, it will mask the pain temporarilly, but I don't judge as long as people are honest and open about it. Nobody likes to be bounced unawares tryand sit yourself down , chill for a bit, focus on friends and familly and hobbies for a while Link to comment
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