Its been almost a year but i havent moved on yet. Help...

[julian19]

Its been almost a year already since the break up. I still love her so much, despite of all the bad treatment that se did to me after she dumped me. Whenever i remember all those nasty things that she told me, it hurts like hell.

 

Out relationship was only 1 and a half month! I know it sounds crazy and the crazier thing is, we havent met in real life yet! It was just an online relationship! But we were each other's first serious relationship and we promised to meet someday so maybe it is the reason why i cant still let go. My God im still crying up to this day. It still hurts so much. What is wrong with me?

 

Most of my close friends told me that the only way i can move on is if i will meet her in real life! They said that it will be really hard for me to move ob because i will alway wonder and be full of "what ifs" in my head.

 

Why cant i let her go? Ahhhhh....

[Loveandlost]

Depression can lead to obsession. Stop allowing yourself to live in the past. You have let 1 month dictate 12 months of your life for a person you never met, no physical interaction, no body language, no subtle gestures..a more fufilling love is out there waiting for you, you just have to choose to want it as well.

[Keykey]

Im sorry to hear that, you should move on with your life and find someone new. You never met her so you never know what kind of person she is in a real life. Nothing is wrong with you, there are plenty of real people out there waiting for your love. How old are you ?

[sidehop]

Sometimes letting a person go or even someone who may have hurt you is to allow yourself to stop hurting by forgiving yourself for allowing such pain. It's very hurtful especially when it's a first relationship even online. But the reality is there was a reason things didn't work out. She may not be a bad person but she had reasons. Sometimes it's bad timing. While others, there was a reason why she couldn't continue. But you cannot allow yourself to wonder and let that pain eat you up inside.

 

Is she really worth your time to hurt over for so long? You may think she is but if you were to ever meet her, chances are those feelings could change quickly. After all she is another human being. And so are you. But you need to first focus on your feelings and put in an effort into letting yourself heal. Otherwise you'll only keep yourself away from properly healing and even other potential dates around you.

[Moontiger]

I agree with the above posted. Try coming up with ways to keep her off your mind. If you have any pics of her get rid if them today, if you find yourself re-reading things she wrote you, delete them today. Get the idea?

[FreeFallFeelin]

This quote from Sideshop is brilliant. You pain takes on a momentum of its own after so much time. You are bummed that you're still bummed. The pain feeds its self more pain and becomes a hard cycle to break. By like the quote says, part of letting go and ending the pain is to actually forgive yourself for hurting so much. You can forgive yourself for being human and getting caught up in the struggle. There's nothing wrong with you. It happens to everyone. This may very well be more of what your pain is about, than the short online fling.

 

Sometimes letting a person go or even someone who may have hurt you is to allow yourself to stop hurting by forgiving yourself for allowing such pain.

[stickman]

Many times we think about an ex because by doing so....we think we are connected to them.

 

Well...this does NOT connect you.

 

To get over an EX... or anything for that matter, you need something else to take it's place. "You fight and idea with a better idea".

 

Work on demanding no less from yourself to do better! Accept no less that you will start on a new project. Whether it's your body, your mind or something else. WHen you occupy your mind, and find something to keep your body and mind active, great things happen. You feel better about yourself. and when you feel better about yourself, others notice!!! THAT is when new people come in to our lives! It's beautiful and most of the time...unexpected...lol

 

Hope this helps

[julian19]

Yes.. I am so depress and i feel so empty.. I just want to get out from all of this negative emotions.. I still miss her..

[maron]

julian, tonight, i saw a picture of my ex w/ another girl. i don't know who she is or what she is, but you know for sure (because i will tell you) that i assumed that she is a new girl. i felt sick because 1) I made an assumption with zero basis on fact (since I really don't know what's going on with his life) and 2) it just hurts to see an ex i still care about be with another girl and this picture is a possible "evidence" of that. that's he's moved on with someone new.

 

do i know that though? no. so you know what I did? i went back to your story, about your mom and Judy, and re-read it. it always makes me feel better. always. because it shows dual sides to a love story that ended: the person who ended it will have regrets sometimes, when least expected and most importantly Judy was able to find someone new and he loves her a lot and she said he loved you and your siblings so much. now I don't know if Judy will ever find out about your mother's feelings about their past, but you know. you know her regrets when you yourself didn't think she had any. and you have the privilege of experiencing first-hand what a lot of us haven't experienced: in relationships that end, no one knows what anyone else is really thinking.

 

it's really okay to feel sad. just accept it and then do your best to fill your days and mind with activities. and tonight, i will give up working on my homework and read a new book i found to distract myself from this sore feeling in my chest. i feel like i've been punched, but i'm being nice to myself. "i'm okay, i'm okay, everything will be fine, of course it will hurt i still miss him, etc."

 

you're a good person with a lot of compassion. and people with these kinds of traits will hurt a lot when things end - but don't let it stop you from finding love and enjoying your time alone. so many paired up people are envious of us, you know? we have a lot of "me" time, which they do not have a lot of because of children, work, house things, responsibilities, etc.

 

i will keep reading your story until i feel better. thank you so much for sharing and keep sharing your sorrow with us. you are not alone here.