Love advice! Help me out!

[dizzymeg]

Hello!

I've posted before about coming out, and now basically, I'm out! But ok, here's my question: I have a crush on a girl from my work and I've had it for, like, over a year now. I told her probably about 3 months ago and she seemed interested. I didn't go after her too heavily though at that time because I was still trying to accept myself and dealing with coming out to my friends and family. Lots of pressure and stress.

 

So maybe she was interested but lost that interest over time since I was hesitant to make a real move. But now she sends me mixed messages. Whenever I see her (which isn't too often cuz we seem to work opposite schedules) she talks to me. Sometimes she even calls me over or comes over to me. So I know she does want to talk to me. Sometimes when we talk she does this little blinking thing like she's nervous (it's so cute) and she's pretty flirty. I'm having a party this month for my bday and when I invited her, she accepted before I even finished my sentence! One time we went out to lunch from work and she insisted on paying which I really wasn't expecting. So thats all good and everything..

 

the mixed part of the messages is that whenever I call her she never calls back..but she mentions that she knows I called -insert day here- and that she got my message but didn't call back because -insert excuse here- (ie: i was sleeping, i was out, my phone didn't get a signal...) So i know they could be legit excuses...but what if they're not and she's just avoiding me? But then why would she bother talking to me and telling me she got the message (when I didn't ask) if she was just ignoring the calls. I know I don't do that for people I ignore when they call.

 

Oh and she just got a girlfriend...but I heard it's not going so well for them. I know thats horrible to say, lol.

 

People keep telling me I should just get some balls (so to speak) and ask her out or something. I would love to, that would definitely answer the question of whether she's interested or not but:

 

1) What about the girlfriend?

and

2) How can I do it? Suggestions please!!!

 

Lets say hypothetically she didn't have a girlfriend or they broke up, how could I make sure to secure the position for myself??

 

Advice please!!!

[pineapplegirl]

Congratulations on coming out. I'm not gay, but I have a lot of friends who are, and I know what a big step you just made. So, again, CONGRATULATIONS! As far as the girl at work, let it go... Enjoy your freddom and the fun that you can have now that you're finally out fo the closet. Experience all that you can, and who knows maybe you'll find someone else who turns your head and wants you too.

[Cadence308]

I say if you want the girl at work, pursue the girl at work. I've learned that sometimes it's best to "play dumb," if you get my drift. Ask her out and pretend like you thought she was single and doesn't have a gf and see what happens. That's what I would do. Ask her at work. Maybe when she's making up excuses for not calling you back it's because her gf is over and she can't pick up the phone and call you back. Who knows, but she knows that you are calling, acknowledging it, and is talking and flirting with you at work. Ask her out and let us know how it goes.

[dizzymeg]

Well, things are going a bit better.

 

I was walking by her the other day and that nervous feeling was creeping up but then I just decided, oh he11, why don't I just cut the cr@p and go talk to her?? So I did, and it was very nice! I was on break and she was leaving so I walked with her out to her car but her friend was there so I didn't get a hug or kiss or anything

 

There was a fair in town a few weeks ago and I asked her if she'd been. She said she had but her back hurt so she didn't go on any rides. I asked her if she was better now and she said a little bit and then we started talking about what the back pain could be...

 

Then the other day I was at my register for three hours and I didn't even know she was there. When I went to lunch I walked through the area where she works (cuz it's a straight shot back to the break room) and there she was! I talked to her for about 5 minutes and was late back from lunch. Then after that she kept mysteriously appearing near my register without seeming to have any reson to be there... when she hadn't done that earlier. She would just stand around and talk to people then go back to her area, then come back up again later.

And when she left for the night she said "bye Megan", not "bye everyone" but just me!

So what does that mean?

Is she interested and just being shy?

[Cadence308]

She sounds interested. Ask her to go to the fair. That was your perfect chance. When you guys start talking about movies or places you've been you should just say, "We should go some time."

[shorty4ever15]

I agree with ballys, the first thing you need to do is just start doing things together. If you can start a relationship than maybe--even if she's not interested--you'll start to grow on each other. But, if she doesn't even want to do anything with you...then i would start to worry. Anyway just keep trying to get close to her. If she isn't interested in you, but is willing to do things with you than just maybe you'll start becoming more interesting to her.

 

Either way I'm going right back to the beginning of all this by saying you should try to get her to go places with you. At least then you'll know its a start.

 

gl