My faminine-self

[captain_nemo]

I am going through a very strange problem. I am a 27 years old male. But I feel that there is a hidden feminine side in me. This feminine self is usually dormant but sometime it wants to come out particularly when I am alone. Truly speaking, at that time I really want to nurture it. Then I just want to act like a female e.g. to walk, speak, sit like female. Even several times I acted like I am in bed with a man. But in front of others this side of mine is strictly dormant and in practice, I'll never like to act as women.

 

Please advise, is it wrong to nurture my feminine self even in loneliness. Sometimes I feel guilty for it and suppress my feminine-self even when I am alone. But this only leads to frustration.

 

If it is not wrong, then please advise me so that I can nurture it in a better way.

[ravens_folly]

Maybe its just something in you that you want to find in a female partner, that maybe you don't have one right now, so these feelings are coming out??

[hazlcha]

Maybe there's a difference between the outward signs, like how you sit, walk, etc... and the inward feelings. In some societies, men are expected to be very tough, not showing emotion or whatever, while women are allowed to be more vulnerable and sensitive. Maybe it's more the need you have to express the sensitivity in your soul. That should certainly be OK!

[thePuma]

Well, that's because women rule. Because women know how to walk, speak and sit, a lot better than men. They are just wonderful. And I'm talking about real women, not pop girls.

 

I don't know if your culture or religion demands the suppression of what you're feeling, what I know is that we should never suppress something that doesn't harm, physically or emotionally. Do you have urges to dress and look like women? Or you just usually enjoy feeling the way women feel? This is the difference between wanting to be a woman or having good taste.

 

Personally I fit on the second group: I enjoy feeling like women do because there's just so much graciousness in the way women act, but I don't want to be a woman. I like being a man. In public I would like to be able to act less manly: I hate having to scratch my crotch just to show that I am a man like every other man.

 

This is something almost unconscious and I generally act less manly only when I'm alone or with intimate friends. It's part of feeling comfortable too. So, adressing to your questions, I definitely don't think it's wrong. And the way you can nurture it is to pay attention to what exactly you're feeling and act however you want to. Whatever makes feel better. Who knows, you might be a repressed drag queen..

 

ravens_folly's hunch is a good one but I would definitely bet on hazlcha's. I believe this is more a question of welfare.

[Mun]

Hi there,

If ignoring your feminine side is causing you anxiety and you feel that you need to nurture it then do it. Nobody is watching. Do whatever it is that pleases you and helps you to feel good about yourself. You are not harming anyone, so why not?

 

I think we all have some traits that are typically of the opposite gender. They may be subtle, but they are still there. To deny it is to deny who we are.

 

LOVE

[captain_nemo]

Thanx 2 all of u who replied to my post. The problem was something which I was not able 2 discuss with anyone. I particularly appreciate the postings of "thePuma" and "hazlcha". Both of u reasonably wanted to know about my socio-cultural background. Well, let me tell u that my society and culture strongly rejects feminine characteristics in males. Though, things r changing in higher classes of urban metros but in general, my society doesn't accept this. Hence my womanliness will continue 2 b a closed door affair unless I become a rebel and agree 2 leave the mainstream society.

 

Now Mr. thePuma, I also fit in the second group. I enjoy 2 feel the way a woman feels about something but I don't want to be a woman. The gorgeousness of women's grace, attitude and posture tempts me 2 feel and act like them.

 

But I don't agree with ravens_folly. Even I hve a female partner, I'll continue 2 feel in this way. Presense of a female partner may make me feel it in a better way though I'll take care not to tell her about it.

 

Thanx 2 muneca also who, along with others has suggested that there is nothing wrong in it. From now on I'll b able to enjoy the feeling without any feeling of guilt or inferiority complex.