Advice please, Is this a good sign?

[cnygurl]

Ok, so I sent two other topics already, so obvioulsy it shows Im hurt over me and my boyfriend breaking up. If you havnt read already, me and my boyfriend broke up after two yrs....I think it is becasue of jelously...or cause he misses me....(long distnace relationship after 1 yr..)

So I wanted to know if this was a good sign, he broke up with me yesterday, and so today I spoke to him online, he waited for me to come on, and when I did he talked to me imediately sharing something bad that happened to him today. The only reason I don't think this is a good sign is because he still was a little distant. I don't know if he is trying to play hard to get since he knows i want him back, or if he really doesnt want me. When i was concerned about his problem, he told me not to worry about it isn't my problem, then he told me he had to go and he signed off. Is he just trying to act like he doesnt care, or what? Boy, do I wish I could be in his head for just 2 mins. want to call him sooo bad, but Im not going to , I guess I figure if he wants me back he will know what to do. But anyways, is this a sign he is thinking of me, or anything...anything just to cheer me up a little....

[SwingFox]

Cnygurl,

 

May I suggest that you stop focussing on him and start to focus on yourself a little more? This sounds a little strange, so I will try to explain.

 

It might be a good idea to set some boundaries for yourself. How long are you going to accept this behaviour from him? If he is really interested, he better start to act upon it, unless you are really into playing these 'mindgames'. Of course there is a chance that you loose him, but that just means that you weren't meant together anyways. I find it unfair of him to leave you in the dark like this.

 

My suggestion thereforeeeeeee is: give him a certain period of time to act upon his feelings and take your feelings into account, too. If that is not working, you might want to consider to find someone else, no matter how hard that is. I believe that if you allow him now to play 'mindgames' as he is doing at the moment and he finds out that it's working, it might never end anymore and he will always 'trick' you into this.

 

I hope that this shed a different light on your relationship and I wish you strength and good luck to make the right decisions that will work for you.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Dee Dee]

No, it is not a good sign. A long-distance relationship is next to impossible. He is trying to be polite, but the more you hound him by calling, etc., the more he will back off. I know it is difficult, but let go. He probably has another girlfriend by now. YOU CAN LET GO. Keep telling yourself that, and you can do it. The quickest way to forget him is to find another boyfriend. But keep in mind that you will never forget him because you are apparently so young. If only I had been that wise at 13, the year I fell madly in love for the first time. Yes, at 13! At 53, after 30 years of marriage and just recently divorced, I reconnected with this "lame brain" and discovered one who hurt me so badly is now a druggie, alcoholic, and on welfare. God was watching over me, yet all these years I carried someone unworthy of me in my heart. I suspect you will find someone who will be more considerate of your feelings and who offers so much more. Don't blame him though because it is hard to nourish a relationship when you cannot touch and be w/ someone often.[/b]