My only friend broke up with me!

[Saures]

In a nutshell, I moved 4 hours away from home, broke up with my long distance partner, fell in love with this guy.

 

We were described as "The perfect couple". Our relationship was based more around a friendship than a relationship, and people admired us for this, even my father. We were best friends, he was my boyfriend and we were and I think still in love.

 

We both suffer with depression. The college we went to, has residential people, he was one of these, I lived 20 minutes down the road from college.

He lives an hour and a half away on the train when he is living at home.

 

College ended, my brother had a wedding, no problem, he came, he partied, he told me how much he loved me, after that, we had to have a few days apart due to the distance and him working, the weekend came, I stayed from saturday night to tuesday night, throughout the time he told me how much he loved me, how he would always be with me, how he could never picture us apart, it was perfectly normal.

I didn't get to see him until the saturday night, where he stayed until sunday night, telling me how much he loved me, how gorgeous I was, he also spoilt me rotten (in my opinion), bought me games, a drink, an ice cream, dvd's, sunglasses, you know, typical stuff. And he was even considering buying me an £80 surfboard and I caught him trying to surprise me with a wet suit.

 

Tuesday came, we had a small fall out, but were not arguing, he said we should talk.

He told me he no longer felt the same way about me, and no longer wanted me as his girlfriend.

 

We've been going out for 8 months, a solid, committed relationship, I was devoted to him.

I have never done a single thing to hurt him, yet he has done this to me in the past.

 

He is my only friend in Devon, I have lost my best friend and my boyfriend, someone who I love.

I was admitted to hospital for trying to take an overdose last night. I need to get over him, or figure out if there is any future.

I need some advice from you guys again...

I can't live in this way.

[Azerak]

@Saures, It seems you are obsessed with him, by being admitted to the hospital, its a painful thing, for someone to walk out of your life, its like someone filling the whole in your heart you felt you had, and when they leave they take it with you, and you feel depressed, and empty inside. I understand how you feel, and I hope things do get better for you.

 

However, people do not break-up without a reason, as a choice is always made up with a reason. He is saying he no longer feels the same way, because either the fight or fall out was more serve in his mind then you thought. I do not know anything about the fall out, so I can't really say much about it.

You seemed to have perceived this perfectly. The thing I want to ask you is,

 

Did you ever ask how he felt?

Ask how he feels for you?

What he loves about you?

If there was anything he wasn't saying? (Problems, choice of words, or actions...)

 

Though I would not recommend you ask him that now.

 

Also when was the last time you guys talked?

I am not entirely sure, but when did this fall out take place? July 24th?

 

So that I can help you more in your situation.

[becomingkate]

"I have never done a single thing to hurt him, yet he has done this to me in the past."

 

For whatever reason, he sounds unstable. If he later wants you back, would you go back, knowing there is a pattern developing? It sounds like he needs to work on himself before getting into a relationship. You would not be doing a favour to yourself (or him) by taking him back again.

[calichick007]

Wait. Do I read correctly in your older posts that you are only 16??? Where are your parents? Why were you permitted to move so far away from home at such a young age?

[Saures]

I don't know how to respond, its just a blur when I think back to the lead up to the break up and afterwards, I remember he said the past two weeks, I haven't felt the same for you, and mentioned that he thought it might just be a phase that will pass over...

It happened at 7pm on the 24th July...

 

I love him, and if he thinks that the breakup is going to benefit him, I support him, but I don't want to let my life suffer from the support.

 

 

 

 

It's just difficult accepting that if I do go back, if thats even if he wants me back ever, that it may not be the same and the relationship may not actually be benefiting me..

 

 

 

I moved away with my family, I live at home with my parents

[nbr]

As someone who in the past has been moderately depressed and received treatment for it (and am currently battling it away as hard as I can in my current situation), let me implore you to find a good therapist and talk to them. No thing, no person in this world is worth hurting yourself over. You are young, in what is likely the hardest part of your life emotionally to find balance (hormones and all). Join a gym and get a personal trainer, or a dojo and get a good sensi, if that is at all financially doable. Leave the depression and anger on the mat. Burn it all out as part of your workout. That ultimately is what worked for me and my depression issues, and as a nice side effect helps me be healthier.

 

I am in no position to give relationship advice (just see my other post ) but the depression thing... genuinely I wish you well and want you to succeed at beating it.

-nbr

[Azerak]

@Saures, My friend told me this, sadly I don't believe it, but it does has its uses... "If you love something, you'll let it go." Meaning that if you love someone, you will place them first, and what ever they might choose to do, you must follow it.

 

A book I read said "In a relationship, you must be selfish-less, and in so, honor the decisions that she/he might make."

 

Letting him choose between staying and break-up is up to him, and as well you, and you must honor he choice, even if it hurts.

 

To be honest, I don't think this makes sense, I believe that "Love is what you hold close to you." but I guess this dang book has hit me in the blindside with "be selfish-less."