Rebounding

[rufus]

I broke up with an abusive boyfriend after 3 1/2 years and now I'm single. This was a month ago. Yesterday, I went on a date with a really hot guy. He is falling for me. He's infatuated with me, and what's worse, I'm infatuated with him. When he kissed me, my heart wouldn't stop racing, I became disoriented, I couldn't catch my breath.

 

I'm still not over my ex and I have more issues than I can handle. So my intention was to establish some friendships and get myself together, focusing on my career and reestablishing my independence. And maybe some meaningless, anonymous sex here and there.

 

I have explained this to him. I told him that I would welcome friendship and I desperately want to have sex with him, but I cannot commit to a relationship. I think about him all the time and I want to see him every day.

 

Should I insist on reducing the time we spend together, at least until I get my house in order? Do you think that would help? I'm a mess. I also think that I'm telling him too much about my feelings for him. And of course, he always reciprocates. And I just swoon. I think I should keep my thoughts to myself. Any suggestions?

[maynards_razorblade69]

Hehe, if you've ever listened to any of those wonderful chat shows on radio where some random bloke is telling a girl what to do (especially Jezza) he'll tell you that you cannot be sorted with a guy until your life is sorted out.

Get your life in order first, and if he loves you that much then he'll let you and help you before entering into a serious relationship.

I'm only young, but I think this kinda thing stands for all ages. But don't let yourself dwell on the ex, don't "not be over him" BE OVER HIM! If he's abusive, he's not worth it, honestly, and if you want a good time, this new guy seems to be the right one!

Hope I helped.

Lottie

xxx

[fellowes7892000]

I'm in a similar spot at the moment. i'm not totally over my ex (went out for 2 yrs, broke up 5 months ago). You feel like you want to move on, but as soon as you do, you wonder whether you're ready. i'm so worried that if I do move on, I'll just be too clingy to the new girl - that I'll be so paranoid about her not being as keen as I am.

 

I think if you feel like you can give to the new guy the same as what he can give you - then go for it. if you think that you spend too much time thinking of the past, then I'd say you're not ready. you want to heal now, not have to do it later. if you're not ready then this new thing will fall apart and you'll be back to where you started. if you take some time, then you can give a ew relationship a proper go.

 

good luck

[Cryssi]

If you like the guy, spending gradually more time with him should make you forget about your past. Especially if he makes you feel loved. Talking to him about your past too should be a good idea, so he won't get angry, or confused when you tell him you don't want to commit yet, but still care for him.

 

I mean, if he's great and he really, really likes you.. And who knows, love? You shouldn't let the chance pass you by. You're worth better than what your ex bf probably made you feel, remember that! The past is the past, it's done and over with, and there's a hottie right there waiting for you