please help, im so confused.

[ricci]

ok well, ive been thinkin ALOT recently probly 2 much, but not enough lol. Basically, i havent been loyal 2 my gf who ive been with for just over 2 years, it all started at university, with 2 girls, im currently 19, the 1st one, was more serious to the extent of a sexual nature, and the 2nd one is just flirting, but we both are aware that theres "something" there. My gf isnt exactly a saint, shes the most jealous girl i know, and she feels that she can have alot of guy friends, whereas im not allowed to have many female friends, she cant stand the thaught of me even having simple friendly fun with another girl, i guess you could say that she loves me 2 much, but im not sure. Theres been times where her guy friends who i KNOW are attracted to her call her almost everyday and the way she talks to them, is very flirty and giggly. Im also a very jealous person, but aslong as she makes it clear to the guys that she has a bf and is not interested, the guys shouldnt call right? well she decides to lead them on i guess. and when i get annoyed or upset, she always makes me feel like im the guilty one, even though all of my female friends are aware of my relationship.

Now, im thinkin....if u REALLY love someone, like i think i love my gf, you wouldnt be unloyal to them would you? or is it possible to love one....and also be with another? im so confused, i cant stand the thaught of being without my gf, but i cant stand the thaught of her flirting with other guys, and i just want to know how can i be so sure that i really do love her?

 

Please help.

 

Thankyou

Ric.

[shana30_1]

I think maybe you are both a little uneasy and dont trust each other. If you think you care about her you should sit down with her and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you dont mind her having guy friends but them calling her constantly and her flirting with them makes you uneasy. She cant control who calls her but she CAN control herself and the flirting. Maybe you two should spend more time together. If she really cares about you she will at least try to respect you wishes. As for the two other girls, you have been with this one for 2 years, you shouldnt be cheating on her like that, at least you should be able to say shes the only one doing something wrong. Listen to your heart and figure out which one you care about the most.

[OceanEyes]

Hey ricci,

 

Well, I don't mean to offend here, but you're saying you've been disloyal twice, and you seem to be irritated at the fact that your girlfriend is jealous and has some guy friends. I don't think you're being entirely fair here, and it's pretty obvious that neither of you are really ready to settle down (which is also entirely okay).

 

Did you consider the fact that your girlfriend might actually know what's going on with you and other girls, so as to explain why she might be acting jealous? She might even be trying to give you a taste of your own medicine by flirting with other guys in front of you. There's a good chance here - or it sounds like it anyway - that she knows what you've been up to (or can sense that something just ins't quite right), and is trying to hurt you and make you jealous. The reason she doesn't want you to have girlfriends is probably because you might actually take it further than that - and to be honest, you can't really blame her for feeling that way, can you?

 

I think you should probably take a step back from this relationship and decide whether or not you really want to be in it. It's not fair to your girlfriend to allow 'sexual encounters' with other girls at school, nor is it fair for you to expect her to be loving and trusting, is it?

 

All I know is, whenever I've cheated in the past, it's because I haven't been ready to settle down, and because I haven't been happy. Don't you think you would be happier if you were free from jealousy and able to come and go with anyone you want, at any time? You sound like you need some space to move around without someone questioning your actions - it's okay Ricci - I was the same way at 19! I guarantee you'll be happier (and a bit of a better person too), if you're fair to your girlfriend and at the very least, try to take some time away from her to figure out what you want. Doing the right thing here will save you from a lot of arguments and suspicions from your girlfriend, and will give you more time to date as much as you want. Why not at 19? Have fun, but be fair to others!