frizzle Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 I don't know if this belongs in this section probably more like ex/friends but I've posted here before so may as well continue. Well I had a very long few hours conversation with her through which a lot came out including about some dishonesty and such from her part but I think she's finally come clean about everything. A mutual friend who got caught up in it said we maybe could work out our difference and repair the friendship we had. I told her I need more time away for myself and if she wants to talk later we can, she just said it was my call. Advice? I'm not interested in anything more but despite everything we did get along really well for most of the past year and had a lot of fun and good times. If there is to be a friendship again I want it to be more equal, she put in some effort too like I did for her, no more lies, no games or anything. What's best thing to do, how should I proceed? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 It really depends on you my friend. If you need time, Take it..... I think you need time to think on things personally. Give it a week or two and think about it. Maybe you can work things out. Good luck to you. -Be Strong, SuperDave71 Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Thanks Superdave Yeah I was thinking the same, in the end I just said I don't know and that I needed more time for myself. It was a messy angry kind of "break up" but she has added me back to her MSN so I guess that's something. Well, am continuing NC for another week or two while I think about things if I can ever trust her again. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Good luck frizzle.....remember.....if you love her.....you will forgive her. Why you ask? Because if the coin was flipped, wouldn't you want to be forgiven too? -Be Strong SuperDave71 Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 I probably will forgive her in the end, though everyone I know is telling me to forget about her. Some really hurtful things were said and done, probably by both of us I didn't handle things too well and made every mistake there was (except I didn't beg) Still a little upset so I guess that means I'm not ready for anything. Time will tell. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Not to bring religion into you situation... but...didn't Jesus forgive? "Father forgive them for they no not what they do" I believe that things may have happened and things were said because you were both hurting. Live to forgive and your love will grow unconditionlly. Let go of the past and live for the present and future. You cannot change what has happened, but you have the power to change today. -Be strong Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
ForAnother Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Sometimes its hard deciding how much time you need.. sometimes you feel like you "need" to talk to them. But when you feel this need, don't give in. Eventually you will lose mind of her, and suddenly you'll see her name again somewhere and get curious how she is doing... I think that is the time. You need to unlearn her and relearn it... and the best way to do that is to try and forget about her. Pain now, love later... wait my friend, wait. ForAnother Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 Well the no contact has continued. I'm feeling better again though it seems the onus is now on me to make the contact, when I was the one she wanted to be rid of (?) so it's a little confusing. The general gist of the posts here seem to be to let the dumper get back in contact with the dumpee but this seems to be the other way around now? Superdave is right I think things were said and done mostly out of being upset from both. There are still some things that bother me, for example I seemed to put in far more effort for her than she did and it often seemed like most of the time it was all about what she wanted, and I wasn't happy about the games and lies which have been admitted to now. If there's to be a friendship again I'd want to make sure none of this is repeated again and it's a more fair and equal thing between us based on trust. I do genuinely miss the friendship and the fun and laughs we shared, but I don't want to be used again as an emotional crutch or something like that. She has a boyfriend he should be enough for her, it's not fair for me to be used like that so she can get attention and support while he is away. How would be the best way to approach this? Write it out in an email? Talk with her about it if I see her online? Ideas on what I should write and how to word it? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 I would give it a lil more time and call her. Maybe set up a brief meeting somewhere public. This is your call and you know your situation better than anyone. Take it slow and remember the common mistakes before they happen. I think you are on the right track. If you need some help..all you have to do is ask.. Good luck to you... Be Strong SuperDave71 Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 Yeah am heeding the advice this time lol It's a long distance friendship so meeting up any time soon won't be possible and probably not a good idea anyway so for now just keeping in contact online/phone. I just don't want the same patterns which happened before repeating themselves and want to make sure she understands this somehow. Link to comment
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