What is he doing?

[roxy79]

Here's a fast recap of my situation. Met ex last October. Started dating in Jan. Met his family, friends, boss etc. right away. Took me on 3 vacations with only his parents. Everything was perfect. In May I told him I was falling in love. He asked for time and space. Gave it to him. Came back saying he had missed me etc. Still needs "time." July he broke up saying he's not ready to be in a relationship. He's at the point in his life where this isn't what he wants.

 

Didn't talk for a month. Calls me. We start communicating again. Calling me back right away, inviting me over, flirting, finally OPENING up to me, telling me secrets he had never told any etc. I ask him (about 2 weeks ago) whats going on, what are we doing, and he says, again, he can't be in a relationship. There's too much going on. Says he can't even take care of himself, how can he take care of other things.

 

I told him I would wait for him to "get his ducks" in a row. He said if I want to wait, then I can wait, but the healthiest thing for me to do is to move on. We gave each other space after that convo (about a week). He had me come over for my birthday to hang out. He's doing things he's never done before (smelling my hair when we sit together, tracing my lips with his finger...) which makes me believe he still wants to be with me, but can't. I know he's not out dating other girls because for the past month I've been with him either on the phone or in person every Friday/Sat night.

 

He still greets me at the front door with a kiss and leaves me with one too. Why would he continue a "relationship" (if you can call it that) if he didn't want me? Why call me at 10pm to say he's going to bed? Why invite me over? Why cancel plans with family/friends to be with me? Why would he do all that stuff if I wasn't the one he wants to be with? Bad timing? I'm his 1st real girlfriend since his exfiance called off their wedding 5 years ago. I've gotta be something different, right?

 

My question is, what's going on with him? I have moved on but of course I want him back more than anything. I want to know if you all think he's going through a "time" and that once it clears and he's okay with himself, that he will come back. Is this his way of keeing me in his grasp so that he won't lose me? Is this his way of keeping connected to me, keeping me close, so that when he is ready to be in a relationship, I'll still be there? I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

[MattTheStudent]

He's playing with you by remaining emotionally unavailable. Right now he knows it's safe- that is, you won't say no and you'll continue to spend time with him- if he just leads you on without commiting to anything. Be careful, and remember that you deserve a man who will commit to you, and not string you along. Good luck and stay strong.