Signals or not???

[Aussieguy]

Hi guys,

 

Me and my ex gf of 2 and a half years have been broken up for just over 6 months now, at the start we would still see each other every few days, even though she already had a bf i could tell she missed me, and after 3 weeks she broke up with him and came back to me, she left me again 3 weeks later and got with another guy for about 4 months in which time we had NC for 5 weeks and now she is with his best friend.

 

After about 5 weeks of NC i sent her a message to see if she wanted to be friends and she said she didn't care, it was up 2 me if i wanted to be friends with her (not exactly the answer i was after), so i told her to ring me when she had time if she wanted to be friends. She rang 2 days later and still said the same thing.

 

Anyway we only saw each other once a week if that, usually at a mutual friends house, and i would always tell her to come over my house sometime and she would always say ok but she would never come over, it seemed she was very apprehensive towards me, but in the last 3 weeks it seems like she has changed.

 

You see during the last 6 months since she broke up with me i have always been there 4 her still and everytime she needed a favour i would do it (pretty much when she said jump i said how high), but 3 weeks ago she asked me for a favour and i said sorry i can't i am feeling a bit sick and she actually said ok thanks anyway hope you feel better soon. About a week later she rang and asked if i could take her to the doctors, but she seemed very nervous about asking me, but when i found out why she needed to go to the doctors i said yeah straight away.

 

On the way to the doctors i got a different vibe from her and it wasn't awkward like it usually was when we saw each other, on the way home i told her she needn't be scared about asking me for a favour when it came to something like that because it is easy to fall outta love with someone but you cant stop caring for someone, she mentioned how her new bf were gonna get married next year which hurt me alot.

 

From that day on i have started to miss her alot and even contemplated trying to win her back, so last week i asked her when her next free day was and she said Monday and i asked if she would like to do something with me that day and she said yeah like what??? so we decided to go to the club and shoot some pool, i asked her if she thought it was weird and she said no, but her bf thought it was, but that didn't worry her, which i thought seemed a bit weird. Anyway i said i would contact her on Sunday and work out everything for Monday, but i saw her on Thursday and went to her house for a while and while we were talking i started to realise that maybe she is in love with her new bf and i had no chance of getting her back which hurt but then i started to realise that she might be trying to make me jealous cause she wants me back plus we have been seeing each other more and more, there is no awkwardness between us anymore and she still wants to be friends bad enough that she doesn't care what her bf says about us seeing each other and i am the only ex bf of hers she is still in contact with as she hates the other 2 ex bfs she had after me.

 

How should i act on Monday because i dont wanna try anything in case i am wrong about her wanting me back, cause it would ruin our friendship which i value alot, but maybe she is thinking the exact same thing towards me.

 

Help me i dont know what to do.

[raggamuffin]

Hi Aussieguy,

I am very familiar with the situation you are talking about. My ex and I were together for 3 years and have now been broken up for a little over 2 years. We stayed friends mainly due to my persisting and me trying, which in the end only ended up hurting me.

 

I know that you ex may not be like this but from what you are saying it seems that she is happy to use you for help but she doesnt really want to be your friend.

 

If you want to move on and get over "it" or her you need to have no contact whatsoever, but if you want to get her back then you have to hang in there and be prepared to get hurt.

 

From looking back now i always thought that my ex felt something for me more than he actually did but I now realise he would of made a move if he did, so its possible that your ex maybe the same.

 

My advice for monday would be to just hang out. If she is interested in you again and wants you back she will make the moves (she has already done that once)

 

All the best, R.