3 months after BU. Do I have a chance?

[WestWing]

My ex of 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago. First month I did the typical mistakes, begging, crying, etc. Then I stopped and said we cannot be friends and I went to NC, deleting him on Facebook, Myspace… I still can check his profile since it is public.

 

The day after I initiated NC, he started to upload photos and crap of his new partner and it really pissed me off, since the day before he swore that he was not dating anyone else. All the same, I didn't make any drama and kept in NC until 2 days ago, when I broke it with a short e-mail just asking "how are you doing".

 

He replied with a long e-mail saying he was happy to receive my e-mail and telling me a lot of details of his new life: new job, new flat, even his plans for this weekend. Of course, he "forgot" to mention the new guy.

 

Our relationship was good, we had confidence, love, and no big fights. In fact, I always thought he was more in love than me, since he was more romantic and retailer, and I was more easygoing. I think one of our biggest problems was that we didn't spend a lot of time together. My ex needs to be in company all the time and I need my space. But I always thought that this complemented us very well.

 

His rebound is the opposite of me. I am good-looking, funny but not crazy, and I don't seem gay at all. In contrast, the new guy is neglected, 7 years older than him, acts and speaks like the typical gay and, why not, he is ugly.

 

I have known that my ex is getting bored of this crazy-gay behavior, but on the other hand, he is comfortable receiving all that care and romantic details I didn't give to him while we were together.

 

Well, I saw he was glad receiving my e-mail, but I don't want to remain in the picture, so I decided to restart NC until he contacts me again, what will happen soon since my birthday is coming. Do you think I have any chance? Any tip for the next step?

[jimjam07]

Some guys think they want to be single, or in his chance "never want to date again". This isn't necessairly true. He just needed time and space, and clearly moved on.

 

Sometimes rebounds don't last, but sometimes they do.. but they always downgrade from you. (it's soo true, my ex (21 at the time) started going out with a 16y.o with a 6-8month old toddler - she isn't that attractive, plus she is overweight - LOL) Best of luck to him i say! (NOT!)

 

 

How I coped with that, I looked at her and realised - hey! I have all this, im way better looking, slim.. blah blah blah. I have more in life she ever dreamed of.

I know that sounds bad, but it certainly worked for me.

Be proud of what you have that he doesn't have, and what he is missing out on.

 

Be yourself, have fun! Go out with friends, meet new people. Say yes to every opportunity. It will take time, but eventually everything will be worth it.

 

 

[WestWing]

Thanks a lot for your advise, jimjam7.

 

The point is I know for a fact that he jumped to this new guy less than 2 weeks after the break up, so I am pretty sure they met before I was dumped. I have to say that the break up was totally unexpected for me. He was saying how much he loved me on Friday, then became very cold after partying the whole weekend and then dumped me the next Monday out of the blue.

 

Well, knowing the kind of personality of his rebound guy (he is 34 yo, but acts and speaks like a female teenager) I am totally convinced that the joke will not last.

 

Of course, I am not crying in the corners. I go out with my friends, having a lot of fun and meeting new people (even having sex). I want him back, but I am not silly and I am not going to lose my time crying at home like a widow.

 

Now I have sent this e-mail and he doesn't think I am angry, my plan is to restart the NC until he contacts me. Then, I will follow all the advises in this forum to win him back. If it finally doesn't happen, at least I will be closer to move on.

[WestWing]

Update:

 

His new boyfriend posted a tweet that says "In love", which was not replied by my ex. I think it is too much. How can a 34 yo man say in Twitter that he is in love after just 2 months of being together? I can't imagine what is this guy able to say to my ex in private.

 

Ok, I am going to take a seat with a bowl of popcorn and see what happens in the few next weeks, since from now on there are only two possibilities: or they get married, or my ex runs away of this Hello Kitty behavior.