I am in need of some advice

[Billz]

Hey peoples, I have a serious problem and I'm hopeing someone can help me.

 

I met this chick at a party, shes beautiful, intelligent and I find her very intriguing. I asked her to go out with me sometime, she accepted and we had an excellent time. After talking to her later, she said it was hard for her to talk to me because I'm such a "shy person".

I find this extremely complicated because for some reason I am always shy when i dates but when I get with a group of people Im usually the loud one?.. is there something wrong with me?

 

Can someone help me with some advice beating this self-confidence issue I am having.?

[antzca2000]

ya, i had that problem. Then I stopped caring. You should try it, just let it go. Don't think about how shy you are or how noisy you are, dunt feel like you gotta laugh at a joke or blast out a joke. Just make sure your in control of yourself and keep your cool.

[Billz]

The only problem i have is that awful silence, i run out of things to say and am afraid i will make a fool out i myself... i think thats the main reason unless there is something that i dont know?

[antzca2000]

ya thats a tuf thing to overcome. Just think of things to talk about before seeing her. Ask her quetions and make jokes.

[sonjam]

I agree with antzca2000, I used to also have that problem. It was like I had a brain "freeze" . Eventually I started making a list in my head, reading the latest newspaper, etc. I would ask what hobbies my date was interested in, (preferably before the date) and do some research on it, to be able to talk about it, you don't have to become a subject expert. The best way to avoid that uncomfortable silences, is to always be interested in your date. Stop worrying about what she thinks of you, and make it your business to find out about her (dont' interrogate her though!!)

 

But ask well placed questions, to make her feel important, that you are interested and would love to get to know her better. Then on answers you can relate to, make a connection between your likes and dislikes and hers, which would also show her a reason to see you again!

 

If you really can't think of anything to ask her, tell her something that happened in the parkinglot, or at work/school/class today.

 

But the best thing is - talk about them - it is the best way of initially keeping the attention off you, until you get comfortable enough, to talk about you!

 

Good luck! 8)