Should I apologize?

[frizzle]

Well things have taken a turn for the worse for the girl I care about. Long story short I was doing NC for myself to move on, then I heard from someone a guy she's been hanging out with was bad mouthing me. Unfortunately I made the mistake of breaking NC and writing to her wondering what was going on and if she had told him what she told me and such. End result: she gets totally pissed at me, doesn't ever want to hear from me again, said she won't read anything from me, removed me from her MSN list and now it's a complete mess. We were doing ok up until this blunder by me, working on being just friends. What should I do? This happened last weekend.

[Silencer]

I'm a pessimist so you may not want to take my advice. If all you did was inquire about that and she threw a fit at you I'd just give a simple, honest apology and leave things at that. I don't think you did anything massively wrong, maybe asked a question you shouldn't have, but to have provoked that reaction... someone is either very very sensitive or guilty.

 

That's just the way I see it.

 

On the other hand the ultra-pessimist side of me would say leave it. If she said she doesn't want to talk to you again, don't talk to her again.. or at the very least give her time to calm down.

[avman]

I don't think an apology would be well received given her reaction to you. Let her go, do NC for awhile. Maybe several months from now you can try the friends thing and then you can apologize. But right now you need to let her cool off. If you try and contact her while she's enraged you can expect a really nasty response.

[frizzle]

Guess maybe safer just to wait a while. I don't want her back after all that happened (outside of a friend) but she did come clean about a number of things in the end, I just got upset this guy was bad mouthing me and I think she said something to him. Things seemed to be getting back to normal/friendship like before up until now. I'm a walking example of everything NOT to do. Sigh!