Watching her give me back her engagement ring

[lyrics2g0]

I was with someone for 4 years. About a year ago, she wanted to get engaged so I bought a ring a little after that, and we were engaged by March of this year. She wanted to move in together, so we went out and bought a place together over the summer.

 

But about a month after we bought the place, she started having a lot of doubts about us. She had said that she hasn't been happy in the relationship and that she wanted to figure a few things out. Basically it was a "time-out" for the relationship. I gave her a little space, but everytime we talk, she seem to bring up the fact that we're no longer right for one another (her sentiments, not mine). I begged her to try to at least make it work, but she said that her heart wasn't into it. She said she would think it over.

 

Last night she came over, we talked and she decided it was time to end the relationship for good. It was very hard for me to take and for her to tell me. However, the most difficult part was that she was wearing the engagement ring, and I had to watch her take it off her finger and place it in front of me. It felt like slow motion and that is the scene that I keep replaying in my head.

 

In the end, I gave her everything she wanted and she said we weren't compatible. I feel betrayed and hurt, the two things she had said repeatedly over the course of our relationship that she wouldn't do.

 

I know it's dangerous but a part of me hopes that one day she'll walk in and say she made a big mistake and want to work things out.

 

I have no idea how I am able to be at work today. I've been in a funk ever since she wanted her own time and don't know how to snap out of it.

[tiger_lilies]

I am sorry you have to experience this. Your post is so very sad. The only advice I have has probably been told to you many times before and that is, it will take time for the pain to subside. I know you want her back, but she has to make her own decision. Perhaps some time between you two will help. But for now, you must try and concentrate on yourself.

Keep yourself busy by going to work, spending time with some close friends and try to get out so that you can experience new things. If you do not, then your thoughts will be consumed with her and that will get you no where.

[dnsking]

do not, i repeat, do not contact her. do the no contact, your story sounds almost like mine was, ofcourse i wasnt engaged lol. For her to realize she made a mistake she has to learn on her own, dont beg, call or kiss her you know what. If she sees she made a mistake she will come back to you. I know for a fact she will start calling you after awhile of you no calling her. When she does call act cool and dont talk about the past. This should help you, also i know its hard but soon you will start to feel better about yourself another thing giving women all they want somtimes is not the best thing, you have to be a nice guy but no a floor mat. hope this helps.

[Scout]

This is going to sound a little blunt, so be warned. Here is what jumped out at me from your post:

 

She wanted to get engaged.

 

She wanted to move in together.

 

She wanted to have some space.

 

She decided to end the relationship for good.

 

Do you feel that this relationship was for the most part, equally balanced in power? It doesn't sound like it to me. It sounds like yes, you gave her everything. The problem is, that wasn't very challenging, and most people want to be in a relationship that is equally balanced.

 

I think you need to work on your self-esteem a bit. Or else, you'll continue the same pattern in your next relationship.

[cafeman]

Hi,

I have been reading some posts for sometimes and I JUST decided to became a member.

 

I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm experiencing the same thing. My ex left me 2 months ago. She moved out and left me with a ring I gave her. We haven't been contacting each other much. We have agreed not to see each other for 30 days. Today is the 30th day. She called and left me with a message saying she is going out of town and she still habe mails coming to my resident. So, I decided to drop them of for her, by the way, she moved in to a new apt. on her own. As I pulled in the parking lot, there was light in her living room, so I called, she said she is home. I kept on talking to her on the phone while knocking on her door. She said, "wait". Then I saw the someone came peek at the door from inside. She said she was in the bathroom. I immediately knew there is someone else besides her in the apt. I told her open up anyway, I said, " I know someone is in there besides you, I know you are seeing someone, I just wanna drop off the mails." She told me to wait by her car. After a minutes or so, she walked out and I asked who is in there. A guy of course, how silly am I to ask. She said she is seeing him for few weeks and she also have slept with another guy one time.

 

My heart just dropped and I held strong. This is a woman I thought would be a mother of my child and now, she acts so recklessly, juggling two guys at the same time. I never thought of her that way. I told her ti be careful getting sexual diseases. She said she is using protection.

 

I care about her, I do. I told myself even if we can't be lovers, I still want her to be friends. Hearing her voice comforts me. But, the truth is I just felt too weak around her. She will suck me back in.

 

Anyway, I told her to be safe and she is driving back to Nashville as I wrote this. It's her cousin's birthday. Man, I do love her families. All her sisters called me brother in law even we haven't been engage or marry. We have been dating and living for 2 1/2 years. I met everyone on her families. Wasted love????

 

Well, She said she will call me later when she comes back. maybe she will introduce her new bf to me. I do wish her happy and hope she finds someone who loves her, the love she deserved from me. Tonight, I think I have closure now. I can really move on. I know this is a everyday process and I need to take babystep, and I pray the Lord give me strength to get through this.

 

At last, God bless you all, thanks for listening.