Jump to content

I dont know what to do please help me. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Recommended Posts

Me and my ex-Girl friend were together for 3 years. Over the summer she went to college. After only 1 week of her being there she wants to break up. I thought to my self why? Why does she want to break this relationship apart when we were doing so well. I asked her if theres another guy she was intersted in she said no. Her reason to me is she wants independance and freedom. She said she rely on me for 3 years and now she wants to grow up on her own.

I asked her if she loves me. She said yes. But to me if she really loves me why would she leave me? Why cant we grow up with each other? She can still be independent with me cause we are now 3 hrs away driving distance.

I dont know what to do. I try letting her go but i just can't. I still dont get how she can break 3 years of relationship. I cant even resist the temptation of NOT calling her. i am going crazy now. what should i do. someone please help me.

Link to comment

1. Patience.

2. Do not call her at all for a while ("absense makes the heart grow fonder?")

3. Follow a woman's ACTIONS, not her WORDS. In this type of situation her words are meaningless to you...what I mean is her actions tell you a completely different thing then her words. She may be sincere, she may just be trying to let you down easy...but the bottom line is she's come to this decision herself...ACTIONS.

4. Do NOT try to reason with a women, a women does not understand reason or logic, a women understand her emotions then rationalizes them afterwards.

5. DO NOT BEG in any way.

 

well those are some of the things i can think of at the moment.

Link to comment

me and my boyfriend broke up and i thought everything was gogin well but then he told things are not working out and then 5 mins later he hooked up with my good friend and now me and her are frighting and i stilll reallly like him what can i do and i don't want to do and all his friends are telling my that we will be back together so can you hepl me

Link to comment

College is a big change for a person. I don't think she found someone else in the first week. Maybe she did, but it would be stupid to break up with your boyfriend of 3 years over some guy you just met that week.

 

My guess is that she doesn't want to be tied down. She's 3 hours away & maybe she wants to feel like she can do whatever she wants without having to worry if you will be ok with it. She's going to meet a lot of new people, maybe she wants to get to know other people.

 

Its hard to say why she broke up with you, there could be many reasons. Just trust what she says.

 

If its meant to be, then you will get back together one day. Maybe she will realize that she made a mistake & want to get back together. Maybe she will find someone else. Life changes & it doesn't always change the way you want it to. You just have to trust that things happen for a reason.

 

I'm sorry about what happened, I can't even imagine how hurt you must feel. Just try to get over her for now because thats really all you can do. I know it will be hard & its going to be painful, but in time you will start to get over her.

Link to comment

....best thing you can do (I'm suffering with you) is be strong.. DO NOT call!! Keep your cool. Anything otherwise is going to FURTHER the distance and what you want to do is minmize that emotional distance and breakdown. Build it up by keeping your life on track. She will appreciate how you handled things should you work this out and it CAN and MAY work out. Love is an extremly COMPLEX thing and no one here can tell you for SURE what is really happening. Know we're with you here and that SPACE and TIME is your BEST friend and ally right now. USE them. They're available all the TIME -- Leverage what little control you have. TIME and SPACE. It hurts man. Surely does.. strength comes with TIME and SPACE, also.. See, it's a major ally. College is a major busy time for people. TONS of stuff to worry about and stress. Be her friend and see what happens after some time and space - Either way, you'll win in the long run. You surely will.

Link to comment

Right now she said she wants to get back together because she dont want to see me hurt anymore. I asked her if we get back is there any guarantees i can get from her. She said she'll have emotional rollercoasters which i dont mind at all. We've been together for 3 years and i've always stay right next to her to help/support her. But she said she'll have alot of temptations because alot of guys hit on her but she said she'll never cheat on me. I dont understand what she really means by that. What should i do now? A big part of me want to get back with her and theres also a big part of me that i still question about. I am really clueless on what the best thing that i can do. Please help. Thanks.

Link to comment

You are in a difficult desicion. You need to decide what you think will be best for you both.

 

She said that she wants to get back together because she doesn't like seeing you hurt. Does that mean she wants to get back together just because she feels bad for you, or because she really wants it too? That would be important to know because if she's just doing it for you, then it might not be what she wants & she will be unhappy.

 

Its good that she says that she won't cheat on you, even though it is tempting. I hope that you can trust that she won't. Its going to be hard for you knowing that she has all these guys hitting on her & there isn't anything you can do about it. Thats going to bother you a lot, whether you think it is or not.

 

Long distance relationships are hard & seem impossible, but they are possible. As long as you totally trust her & really believe that she will resist the temptation to cheat on you. It will be hard. You will miss her. My boyfriend goes to school an hour away & thats hard, I couldn't imagine if he lived 3 hours away.

 

You just have to decide what you think will be best. Do you think that its worth staying together? If you love each other, then of course it is. However, do you think that jealousy & not seeing her very much will be too difficult to deal with?

Link to comment

i think if she said she wouldnt cheat on you if you got back together, and already she's slept with someone... then it doesnt seem like she really cares about getting back together or making things work.

 

i know this is hard to hear, but i dont think you should get back with her (if you havent already decided that for yourself)... she needs to figure out what she wants. if she wants you, she wont be messing around with other guys...

 

do whats best for you right now. good luck!!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Look... i waz kind bored n i searched "what to do"... n i found dis site... start readin you problems... n as a guy i got really pissed off... i've been through similar things... lyk a gal sayin "i luv u" but in da end it end up she waz onli "PLAYIN A GAME!!"... n most of all SHE GOT PISSED OFF b4 I DID... hey... gal i waz the 1 been heartbroken... newaz... Dontknowwhattodo... really... i say leave the gal... u might b da 1 in her life but she is not da 1 for u... sooner or later shes goin 2 do da same thing agn n ur jus goin 2 get hurt more... jus as bzborow1 said b4... wateva u do DO NOT BAG... n do NOT CALL... if she really wants u she'll com after u... if she doesnt care... wel jus say a gal cud completely make u feel lyk a stranger 2 her (u cud walk pass her n she doesnt see u)... newaz... 1 thing is that wen u get older u look bac n say "wat an idiot i waz in luvin 'her'" wif "the one" right next to you... good luck... it'll b hard durin this time... but it'll pass

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...