friends pushing me away cos im not "normal"

[lil_unique_me]

i have recently come out to my friends that i am a bisexual and they all said that they were fine with it and there wasnt a problem but recenlt i just feel that they have started to edge away from me and not want to be near me.

ive always had a larger than life personality but im also quite affectionate with my friends and my family. ill always give them a hug or put my arm round them or somthing like that its just the way i am.

i just feel as though they think im a freak cos i like both sexes.

does anyone have any advice on what i can do?

i just feel as though im being puyshed around by them cos no one wants to be near me any more

is it cos i am bisexual or is it cos of my "unique" personality- my mates call it that not me.

can any one offer me their pearls of wisdom on this one???

any help is aprreciated.

Catie xxx

[ayekasong]

If it is because of the fact that you're bisexual, there isn't much you can do about it. It's pretty difficult to change someone's mind about this as I think people have to come to the realization that differences do not mean bad on their own.

 

It could also be that they find your personality a little overbearing, but I really don't know about that. Could you give us some specifics about how you feel they are pushing you away? Perhaps you could tell us about an event that made you feel that way. That might give us some clarity about the situation.

[lunatic]

I would talk to your friends and reassure them that you have no interest in them as anything other than a friend. Maybe they are a little freaked out by your sexual revelation and are uncomfortable by it. If you tell them that you don't think of them like that they may calm down a bit. If they cannot handle you the way you are then who needs them because they are not a true friend.

[abcd1234]

People are always going to have set opinions about somebody with a certain sexual preference, there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do is try and make it clear to them that they are your friends and you are not interested in them in any other way. They may be just a little worried and need some reassurance on the matter.

 

It will take them some time to adjust and they will all do it in different ways, some will push you away while others will not change at all. They all need to know that it does not change you as a person and so it should not affect your friendships with them.

 

abcd1234

[darkaubrey]

My friends were the same way when i came out. All you can do is talk to them, and tell them that have no interest in them sexually. You might need to quit putting your hands around them though, just until they get used to the fact that you are bi.

[lil_unique_me]

ok thanks and i know that i should stop being so firnedly towards people but i cant help it it is just who i am and that will probably never stop.

im just a really bubbly character with a big personality but i am really caring to my friends as well. if they need me then they know that they can call me up and as long as im not in work ill b there asap so that i can help them.

so why cant they accept me? i do all this for them and they cant even do one little thing as accept me for being me. i cant lie to myself forever can i????

Catie xxx

[ComputerGuy]

I dont think it's a case of they don't accept you, they probably want to and are trying to, but without sounding rude, put yourself in their shoes, it would be uncomfortable for them big time. They will eventually get over it, but it's the shock factor in the mean time.

 

I'm in no way saying you are wrong/to blame/whatever, simply saying try to see the situation from their eyes. What you did was the right thing, and I'm sure with some reassurance, something along the lines of "I was Bi before I told you, the only difference is now you know, I'm still the same person as I was before, nothing's changed", and perseverance it will work itself out.

 

If, however, they cannot deal with it, at least you know what sort of friends they were.

[lil_unique_me]

my best matre has been talking about me behind my back to another mate and im really upset about it cos ive done so much 4 her ive been there t wipe her eyes wen her men have dumped her and now shes been discussin me. and also i have found out from the person she was talking to that she has only become uncomfy with it since i came out.

otherwise she was fine with it!!!!!!

how 2 faced can you be???

 

Catie xxx

[lunatic]

Well if your friend is talking crap behind your back and is uncomfy not around you then she is not a "real friend". I totally agree with the computer guy on this one and tell your friends that you were bi before you told them. So I would keep telling them that your the same person and nothing changed except that they know a secret that you were keeping from them and everyone else.

 

Remember that if they cannot handle the person you are then they are not true friends. So if this person is talking crap then you don't need that in your life. Life is way too short to deal with that much drama.

 

Hubman 8)

[DBL]

At your age being bi or gay was a big thing. As you all get older, your friends will not be so problematic about it. I have two gay cousins...some people are ok with it, some not. When i was 16 I was not ok with that kind of stuff, but as I became older, it didn't bother me. Give it some time for your friends to adjust to that. Some will some won't...I'm sure you will find others out there that are still in the closet.

 

Good Luck

[i_hate_the_world47]

Well,i think your friends may not be used to the whole bi thing.Give them some time.Also you may want to stop being affectionate.Also ressure them you have no romantical interest in them.Good luck with this and if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to PM me.

 

~meagan~